Being Intentional With Our Life

Sooooo, as you know I've been doing A LOT of family history work.  Right now my mom and I are on a mission to clean up the records on my dad's side of the family.  We've never really had to do a lot on that side.  Pioneers.  Lots of people working on those lines over the years. We've been putting the histories and pictures of people that we have onto Family Search and its been fascinating!

As a result I've been reading a lot of biographies and obituaries.

A granddaughter wrote this of her grandmother, Elizabeth Mathews Campbell and an obituary of Elizabeth's granddaughter in law follows it,

Through my memory peers the face of a woman which portrays that character of which type is of most use to mankind.  To me it is a face which beams with devotion, portraying that most noble character, "Mother."  It is a face, perhaps a little tired of its hard struggles; a face full of thankfulness for her all, and which shows a willingness to give, to serve, and do all in her power for the benefit of mankind.  It is the face of my Grandmother, my ideal woman, and no living should could help but love and cherish her.  Although this noble character has not been placed into a worldly history, she will never be forgotten by those who knew her and who were fortunate to enjoy her presence.

Lucille ...(98) passed peacefully on ..., She married her lifelong sweetheart, ....in the Logan LDS Temple. They spent 75 wonderful years together until Theron's passing....

Lucille enjoyed her life very much. She loved her friends and loved the association she had with them. She loved her beautiful gardens especially her roses. Her vegetable garden was amazing and always plentiful. The fruit room proudly displayed all of her frugally preserved produce. She loved to work with her hands whether it be in her gardens, knitting, quilting or crocheting. She was a lifelong avid reader and particularly enjoyed biographies and historical fiction. As a child, in her fathers orchard, she would climb a favorite apple tree to read. She and her husband traveled to Europe and Canada visiting children.

She was educated in Cache Valley schools graduating from South Cache High School in... and graduated from the USU LDS Institute later in life.

She was a charter member of the Modern Mothers Club of ...., a captain of the Elizabeth Mathews Campbell camp of the Daughters of the Utah Pioneers, and a member of the Women's Literary Club. She was a devout member of the LDS church fulfilling many callings through the years--Gospel Doctrine teacher for 11 years, Relief Society President, and a Temple worker.

 
A little voice as been playing over and over in my head.  How do you want to be remembered?  When they write your obituary what are they going to say?  Is that what you want said?  These motivational quotes are going over in my mind:

"Ask yourself if what you are doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow?"
"Whatever you do, do it well."
"The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new."
"Do something today that your future self will thank you for."

And my favorite (for today):

"If you change nothing, nothing will change."

So my question to myself is if nothing changed in my life would I be where I want to be at the end of it? Would my obituary say what I want it to say?  Or do I have to change some things?  I took some time to write down what was really important to me, mainly character and skills(talents), and I was surprised with some realizations I had.

I invite you to make sure you are being intentional with your life. Are creating yourself into the person you are supposed to be?

Journey on my friends.

A Sense of Worth

The last couple of years I have noticed when I talk to other women or read women’s blogs there is an undertone of lack of worth among the sisters of Zion. Why is that?  Of course that can be traced back to Satan.  President Joseph F Smith said that the women of the church need,

“to lead the world and…especially the women of the world in everything that is praiseworthy, everything that is God-like, everything that is uplifting and this is purifying to the children of men.”

If we, as women of Christ, feel a lack of value we won’t be able to fulfill our purposes in the last days, we will be distracted by feeling unneeded and inadequate. (Which is Satan’s plan). That is why I wanted to write this.  To tell you how I finally came to believe I had worth. 

I used to be a person that didn’t think I was ever good enough for anything.  A great very many of us I think felt or feel like this.  I do think some people come to Earth with an innate sense of their worth however.  I believe this is a gift of the Spirit.  One reason I believe this is because my husband and a couple of my children intrinsically know they have value.  While some of my other children cry and pout at any side ways glance because “they know” someone is mad at them or whatever the grievance may be.  Some of us aren’t born with a sense of worth burning as brightly as others. I have come to realize that it is a gift of the spirit we can claim.   It is a gift we must seek if we want to fulfill our purposes here in the last days.

One day while pondering in the early morning hours a couple of years ago it came to me that I am here on Earth and there are two channels.  One channel (which is quieter) is from my Creator and He sends messages of light, truth and love.  The other channel (this one screams) is from my would-be Destroyer and the messages are darkness, lies and hate.  I came to realize that everyday my self-worth channel was set on the lying channel.  These are some of the messages on the two channels:

Creator:

You are a child of God.

Your life has meaning and purpose.
You have a divine nature.
I want you to come home to me.
The worth of souls is great.
I need you.
 
Destroyer:
You are worthless.
You can’t do anything right.
You’ll never be good enough, so don’t try.
You’re a fool.
You’re family and friends think you are ridiculous.
You are not needed for anything.
 
The lying messages are easier to receive because no effort is required.  It is a “path of least resistance” message.  It is easier to listen to these messages the same way it is easier to eat candy and junk food.  We feel sick afterwards but we keep eating because some how we think it is feeding us and it is an easier message to partake of.

When realization dawned, I realized I wanted and needed to change the frequency.  Of course I want life and not death.  But how do you change 30+ years of entrenched messages of lies?  I realized it was like loosing 50 pounds of fat (or maybe a lot more!).  I realized I had to change, but it was still overwhelming.  It is so much easier to keep indulging.  (Or so I thought of course).  So what was the answer?

Repentance.  It was not the answer I wanted to hear.  But it is always the answer.  I believed Satan.  I had put my trust in Satan.  I had let him be my god for sending me self worth messages.  I had been deluding myself into thinking I wasn’t sinning, but as a daughter who had made baptismal and temple covenants I did know what the truth was.  I just wasn’t believing it before.  I realized that not trusting in God was breaking the commandments.  The first commandment is to love God.  The God.  Of course it didn’t make me evil or awful.  It simply meant I couldn’t progress like I wanted to until I changed.  It meant I wasn’t able to receive the light I wanted until I realigned myself to God.  Elder Cook said in the last conference, “When our commitment is diminished for any reason, part of the solution is repentance.”

So I prayed.  I was sorry.  I wanted to listen to light and truth.  I realized that I needed to exercise faith.  After all the years of gospel teaching the plain and simple truth was applying the first principles of the Gospel.  Faith.  Since I didn’t have a testimony of my own self worth I had to start with a particle of faith.  I had to trust God when he taught that I really was a child of God and He needed me.  I had to believe the message He was sending.  I had to believe they were the truth.  I had to exercise my faith and believe Him.

Then came the work.  Because that is what faith is: ACTION.  It becomes a time to act and not be acted upon.  It becomes time to give up on the path of least resistance. It was time to take the higher road, do an about face, and turn to God. 

I had to reject the messages.  Simply quoting President Uchtdorf.  “STOP IT !”  Stop listening to the lies and the darkness.  Stop believing that Satan is telling the truth.  To do this each time a lie came in to my mind I had to reject the lie and quote the truth.

“You are stupid…….stop……wrong message…….I am a child of God and He loves me.”

“You will never be good enough for exaltation…stop…..wrong message……I have a divine destiny….my life as meaning and purpose…..”

Again.  Reject the lie. Quote the truth.  And believe it.  It is hard at first.  I was amazed how often the lies stream in through out the day and I didn’t even realize it.  It is easier to wallow in a lie from Satan about ourselves than it is to listen to a message of truth.

After you reject the lie and quote the truth you need to redirect yourself.  It’s time to stop thinking about ourselves. The treatment is the same as those struggling with angry thoughts or pornographic images.  We could “hum our favorite tune,” praise God, count our many blessings, and/or we can go serve some one.  We get our minds off of the train of thought we were going down.   We get our minds off of ourselves.

The miracle is that as you reject the lie, change to the truth channel and think about others your seed of faith grows until you KNOW.  You know and now you have a testimony.  You know you are a child of God.  You know you do have individual worth.  You finally really believe your life has purpose.  People do like you. And you know God loves you.

And then you live.  You discover greater depth to your relationships.  You feel a greater capacity to love other people.  You feel joy.  You grow.  You receive personal revelation. In a nutshell you soar with God.

Thoughts from Spring 2012  General Conference on this subject:

Elder Hales, “…a life of joy and happiness, is an essential part of Heavenly father’s plan for each one of us…As our spiritual desires increase, we become spiritually self-reliant….the sacrament gives us an opportunity to come to ourselves and experience ‘a mighty change’ of heart-to remember who we are and what we most desire.”

Elder Soares, “To sow in the Spirit means that all our thoughts, words, and actions must elevate us to the level of the divinity of our heavenly parents….the natural man, which allows people to be influenced by passion, desires, appetites, and drives of the flesh instead of looking for inspiration from the Holy Ghost…Therefore, our daily question must be, ‘Do my actions place me in the Lord’s or in the enemy’s territory?”  JUST READ THIS WHOLE TALK.

Elder Scott, “One must be ever mentally and physically clean and have purity of intent so that the Lord can inspire….The more closely you follow divine guidance, the greater will be your happiness here and for eternity-moreover, the more abundant your progress and capacity to serve.”

Brother Ochoa quoting Elder Holland, “I am looking for men young and old who care enough about this battle between good and evil to sign on and speak up.  We are at war.”

President Uctdorf, “This ‘mighty change’ of heart is exactly what the gospel of Jesus Christ is designed to bring into our lives.”

Elder Nelson, “Spiritual progress is attained through the steps of faith, repentance, baptism, the gift of the Holy Ghost and enduring to the end, including the endowment and sealing ordinances of the holy temple.  Just as the body requires daily food for survival, the spirit needs nourishment as well.  The spirit is nurtured by eternal truth.”

Read Sister Beck’s talk.

Let Us Be Self-Correcting

For some reason my quotation button is not working...

I continue to thrill in reading and learning about the early history of the Relief Society.  This month for our book club meeting we discussed, A Centenary of Relief Society 1842-1942.  I enjoyed the opportunity to relook at some interesting events. 

In addition to several readings I also took the time to read from The Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith.  On page 201 is a “synopsis of the Prophet’s Remarks to the Female Relief Society.”  It reads,  

“President Joseph arose.  Spoke of the organization of the Female Relief Society; said he was deeply interested, that it might be built up to the Most High in an acceptable manner; that its rules must be observed; that none should be received into it but those who were worthy; proposed a close examination of every candidate…thus have an select society of the virtuous, and those who would walk circumspectly; commended them for their zeal, but said sometimes their zeal was not according to knowledge.  One principal object of the institution was to purge out iniquity; said they must be extremely careful in all their examinations, or the consequences would be serious.” (March 30, 1842) D.H.C. 4:570

In another section (see page 239) the Minutes of a Relief Society Meeting, held June 9, 1842, were given where Joseph Smith spoke.  The notes read,

“Said it is no matter how fast the society increases, if all the members are virtuous; that we must be as particular with regard to the character of members now, as when the society was first started; that sometimes persons wish to crowd themselves into a society of this kind when they do not intend to pursue the ways of purity and righteousness, as if the society would be a shelter to them in their iniquity.

“He said that henceforth no person shall be admitted, but by presenting regular petitions, signed by two or three members in good standing in the society, and whoever comes in must be of good report.”

Today in the church we do not have to apply to participate in Relief Society.  However, I see great value in giving ourselves some self-inspection regarding Joseph Smith’s words.  Elder Christofferson recently spoke of this.  He said,

“Eventually, much of our chastening should come from within-we should become self-correcting.”

Joseph Smith states we must be worthy, virtuous, walk circumspectly be zealous with knowledge, engage in ongoing purging of our iniquity, high character and of good report.  I observe areas from my own life that I need to work on.

The topic of virtue in itself could be discussed indefinitely.  Virtue being, “A pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards” (see Preach My Gospel and For the Strength of Youth). There is more to virtue than simply being chaste.  It would include not gossiping, judging righteously, humility, having charity, being positive, pure & kind thoughts,….I think that virtue covers pretty much all my faults! Grrr!

I recognize these words from the prophet as an opportunity to reflect on my own conduct.  I see I have many areas to improve on; aligning myself more fully to the purposes of Relief Society helps me to be more effective in my work of building Zion through my family and through Relief Society.

The great pronouncement given by Joseph Smith to the Sisters also applies to us as individuals,  “I now turn the key to you in the name of God and this Society shall rejoice and knowledge and intelligence shall flow down from this time.”  I seek the blessings of knowledge and intelligence.  What great promises are ours when we live up to our potential!

What’s My Mission?

One of the great problems I see among the youth (and that I personally experienced) is the phenomena I will call split personality. Growing up I was repeatedly asked, "What did I want to be when I grow up?" I learned by first or second grade that any answer was acceptable except for one, I should not say, "mother." I learned how to answer other questions asked like, "How was the world created?" I also learned I was supposed to give the answer, "mother" at church and home. Thus I had a set of answers for school and a completely different set of answers to the same questions at home and church. This may eventually lead us to become a totally different person in each situation. I see this "split personality"manifested among the youth at a whole new level than even I experienced. Satan is ramping up his game well!

I have talked regularly to my children about being the same person no matter where they are. However, within the Leadership Education circles I am starting to see the split personality creeping in among the "leaders." Recently I listened to several seminars and read a book that all are promoting this. In the TJEd world it is called, "Finding Your Mission." Youth are encouraged to seek out finding what their "mission" is. Often it is not expected to be discovered until the youth are a little older, but an ongoing fascination exists in that it is all the talk while the youth are in scholar phase. One seminar I listed to said, "Nothing will be more satisfying in your life than figuring out what your mission is and then having the courage to fulfill it."

You may be wondering why I see a problem in this. It is simple. We have already had our missions revealed to us. We are to be mothers and fathers. Of course I know in the TJEd world that they encourage motherhood. I appreciate that, it is certainly different than public education, BUT, motherhood is still considered a side note. In the book I recently read the woman (who is a high profiled TJEd leader) cried to her husband that wasn't she created for something more that to change poopy diapers and clean up vomit? When was she going to be able to embrace her mission? Her husband lovingly told her, that he was sure it would be soon.

I fear these statements convey to our youth that there is something more to life than parenthood. It would seem that being a mother is just one of the things you do in this life. Somehow, you must be defined by something else though. This would be a potentially lifelong dedication to a "mission." I believe this is misleading. Consider this:

• Heavenly Father chooses to be called Father.
• His work and His Glory is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. This means ongoing parenting.
• Keeping our First Estate enabled us to have bodies and procreate.
• Godhood is Eternal Parenthood.
• If we qualify for Exaltation we will be granted the ability to have a "continuation of seed."
• Those not qualifying for Exaltation will be impotent, even those obtaining the lower two degrees of the Celestial Kingdom will be denied the right of continuation of seed.

Simply put eternal lives is about parenting forever. Why not embrace mortality and strive in every way to submit to this high and noble calling? A calling so noble that that is what our Heavenly Father does. When we choose to place lesser value on this holy calling we will lose power in our lives.

The noise of this world is LOUD. It is hard to hear the voice of the Father calling us to this high calling. Satan, the father of lies, is louder than God, telling us we were made for something more or better. It takes great faith to turn off the tantalizing noise of the world and tune into the sweet, still small voice of the Spirit. I have come to personally know for myself that great blessings come from turning off the noise. I am hearkening to the voice of the Lord and I am just beginning to have a glimpse of His wonderful and majestic plan. It is more holy and more awe inspiring than anything that Satan can counterfeit.

Perhaps along the way many of us will do great things. I suspect we will. We are the last laborers in the vineyard. We were saved and reserved because we were the best of the best. I simply say that in all our doing we must make sure that being mother remains our priority AND we teach this to our children.

There are times when we will literally parent 24/7. Then there will come a time that we will have more "time" on our hands. Perhaps at this stage we may ask, "How can I help build the kingdom?" "How can I further work on my parenting skills, which really comes down to bringing souls to Christ?" I would suggest that Relief Society and focusing on the Three Fold Mission of the Church would provide untold service opportunities.

As I have extra time I have sought out my faithful Relief Society Presidents through the years and asked for extra assignments. It is through the Relief Society (which is under the Priesthood) that my surplus of time and talents are dedicated. Through the years I have been given many extra opportunities to serve in this way.  I have learned that "there are chances for good all around." My talents are used to build the kingdom, but it hasn't come in the way I have often wanted. It has come as I have worked under the direction of my husband and within the ward.  There is more than enough to do in my family and ward to fill my time and build the kingdom. I am simply saying I don't need to go "find a mission," I simply need to live my mission already given to me. "There is work enough to do ere the sun goes down," and Zion needs to be built. We further that cause by submitting to our role of mother/nurturer. We further the work of the Father by striving to be mothers who also partake in the Father's work to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.

So in a nutshell perhaps we could change the message to our youth to be, "Nothing with be more satisfying in your life than realizing that your mission is to be a mom/dad and then having the courage to reject Babylon's message that there is something more important than fulfilling your family roles."

Sister Beck and Women's Conference

I just had the opportunity to read Sister Beck's wonderful address at BYU Women's Conference last year.  She spoke on many things that have been close to my heart the last little while and she says it so much better than I do!

She spoke on her quote that I love, "When our priorities are out of order we loose power over our life."  She shares many great ways to help us keep our priorities in line while we live on earth.  She asked repeatedly throughout her talk, "Why are we here?" and "What is our mission?"

I read this talk to my husband just now as well.  We were able to discuss some great things.  I stated, "We as women are always so depressed and confused.  The simple answer is to get our priorities in order."  He responded, "Yes, women do, but it sure would help if the men and families also got their priorities in order as well."  I am grateful for a good husband who recognizes that men also must get their priorities in order.  The battle to recognize Satan's lies and deception is a battle that men and women face alike; together though, as a husband and wife unified we will be much more successful in casting Satan out of our hearts and homes.

Here is the link to the post I wrote a couple of weeks ago that goes along with her message.

Please take the time to read Sister Beck's important message.  The transcript of her article is found here.

The Blessings of Being God-Centered

I had a ‘lovely’ post almost ready for publication when “poof” off went the computer and gone forever (for whatever reason) went the ‘lovely’ post. Sigh. I wrote about the purposes of Relief Society and how important it is to incorporate them into our lives. It was really just another way of saying the same things I said in a previous post, “Mom, Needs Headgates Too!” So since I have already said that I’ll move on to some fresh thoughts.


I need to let you in on a little secret. For years and years I have not felt self-worth. So dumb huh? How could I feel that when I grew up with “I am a Child of God” and the Young Women’s Program? I think that it’s because I was seeking my worth from the world. I have always been a stay home mom that has tried to do the right things. Somehow though I kept worrying about what the world was thinking about me instead of God and my husband. Let me tell you that in the world’s eye a stay home mom doesn’t earn any prizes. That was the last place the world wanted me.

I’ve mentioned many times that the last two or so years I have diligently worked on submission to my Heavenly Father. Line upon line and precept upon precept God has taught me. (See Elder Bednar’s recent Conference talks to learn more about this wonderful principle). It has just been in the last couple or so months that I have really began to see I truly do have self-worth. I no longer beat myself up about all the things I can’t “do right.” I have come to absolutely love being a nurturer. Love it! I am happy. I have peace. I have a hope in a glorious resurrection.

I have wondered how this happened. I came across a paper when cleaning out things recently and it said this,

What happens when I am temporally (or self) centered?

1. Life is not fair.
2. I am not sure I will qualify for the Celestial Kingdom.
3. I do not have enough time to get all things done.
4. I am overwhelmed.
5. I feel pressure most of the time.
6. I am not sure when the Holy Ghost is with me.
7. I rely on others to make me feel of worth.
8. I feel like a taxi cab driver.
9. My life is not mine.
10. I only enjoy the weekend.
11. I do not feel forgiven.

What happens when I am spiritually (or God) centered?

1. I feel closer to Heavenly Father.
2. I have great hope to be raised unto Eternal Life.
3. I receive more revelation.
4. What I do each day is now worthwhile.
5. I have less stress.
6. When my children make mistakes, I can handle it.
7. My feelings of self-worth have increased one hundred fold.
8. I feel free.
9. I am able to get all things done.
10. I enjoy each day.

As Elder Bednar has taught us we must submit line by line and precept by precept. As we act in faith and go through this process one day we will wake up and we will realize that we are changed. It will be a gradually change that will be so imperceptible that it seems that growth is not happening. But it is!

I have realized that little by little God has been changing me. I have been changing from a life that was temporal or self-centered to a wonderful new life that is now spiritual or God centered. I am becoming that spiritually centered person. Perhaps a number 11 could be added. I feel joy.

A life of submission is a journey that requires a lot of patience with ourselves. It requires a lot of repentance. It requires a willingness to play by Heavenly Father’s rules and not our own. Our progression is not always measurable. But it is worth it. I have a long way to go in my life, but I am beginning to truly see the blessings of submission.

My worth is no longer determined by the world’s standards or ideas. The world’s plan to push entitlements and worldly lust and pleasure on me is rejected. I know that I must stay centered in Jesus Christ. And bit by bit I can remove their damning influence in my life. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

AND I can enjoy Mother’s Day this year without a twinge of guilt or spending the whole day in tears. I am doing what my God wants. I am a mother in Zion that it building up the kingdom of God.

The above list was found in a workbook entitled, “Becoming Spiritually Centered and overcoming the World,” written by James B. Cox.

Mom Needs Headgates Too!

As I mentioned in a previous post I enjoyed an interview on the Mormon Channel with Sister Julie B. Beck. Among the thoughts she shared I found great truth when she said, "When your priorities are out of order you lose power over your life."

What are our priorities? I think as women of the covenant and sisters in the great worldwide organization-Relief Society-our priorities are different than the women of the world. The First Presidency has identified several key things that they name as the highest priority. In a letter to the membership of the church they said,

“We counsel parents and children to give highest priority to family prayer, family home evening, gospel study and instruction, and wholesome family activities. However worthy and appropriate other demands or activities may be, they must not be permitted to displace the divinely-appointed duties that only parents and families can adequately perform” (First Presidency letter, Feb. 11, 1999).

We can also recall Elder Oakes counsel of good, better, best to seek the best priorities. I loved Elder Maynes recent conference address where he suggests developing "celestial traditions" for protection to our family. Based on these ideas I developed a list of the most basic priorities that are the most important in my role as wife and mother.

Personal priorities: prayer, scripture study, church attendance, and regular dates with spouse. Ensuring that three family meals are prepared and eaten together, clothes are cleaned, and basic housekeeping is maintained.

Family Priorities: prayer, scripture study, church attendance, Family Home Evening, wholesome family activities, and specific attendance in each organization (Young Women's, Priesthood duties, Primary, Relief Society, etc).

That is a very basic list. I may be missing something obvious. I think most of our lists with be somewhat the same.

A secondary list of priorities would include: fasting, temple attendance, visiting teaching completed, magnify a calling, etc. These are of course very essential.

The juggling of these basic priorities requires order. I think of it as a "House of Order." When these things are not done than disorder and confusion are the results.

What is the power that we will lose out of our life? When our priorities are out of order we will lose the power of the Holy Ghost in our lives. When we have our family priorities in a place we have built for our lives that day a sure foundation. We are so ordered that we are entitled to the ongoing companionship of the Spirit. That ongoing companionship of the Spirit is so vital that it is impossible to navigate successfully through this day and age by ourselves. The Holy Ghost cannot dwell in us when we are house of confusion and disorder. When our lives are lived in a knee-jerk reaction to the demands of outside forces we cannot claim the power of the Holy Ghost that is necessary.

Sister Beck points out that when we have those vital things done in our lives and our family's lives each day than you can live your day calmly and peacefully. You will not be blown to and fro.

We may cause our lives to be unorderly when we focus on self. When we spend time on the computer, gaming, watching TV, shopping, crafting, or reading "brain candy" books without first ensuring that the daily priorities in our family are met we will find ourselves out of order. Of course there are the unexpected times when we can't have a perfect day, but when we focus on having a day filled with keeping our priorities I have found that it is rare indeed to have a day when I feel "out of control."

I think generally we try to stay grounded. I loved Sister Beck's comment though because it says when we do the right things-our priorities-we will be in balance and we will face much less depression and stress. As I see now clearly how to avoid those burnout moments of depression, sadness, anxiety, or being overwhelmed I can see what I need to focus on. I need to fulfill my role as nurturer and I will find peace each day from the constant companionship of the Spirit. The Spirit will cause me to be happy and recognize my self-worth.

As I review the headgate principles and think about developing "celestial traditions" (and not telestial or terrestrial ones in my life or my family's life) I realize that I need to make sure that I close the wrong headgates in my own life also. The wrong headgates will cause me to overlook my priorities, face addictions, and keep me off track. So I can ask myself the same questions I asked about my children's toys. What are my toys that I use in my free time? (Facebook, gaming, reading, etc). Who was the creative one-the toy maker or me? Are we making "little junks" and wasting family resources all in the name of crafting? Are we watching movies that our children are not allowed to watch? Do we read books that contain pornography, but rationalize it because we are married adult women? Perhaps as adults we are "entitled" to things that are children are not? Sister Beck has spoken often on a latter-day philosophy of women believing they are entitled to things. She says we must reject that mentality.

Perhaps we feel we are entitled to "me time?" I have a wise friend who says we don't need "me time" we need "God time." He will heal us and strengthen us in all the ways we need. When we have God time from having established correct order in our homes than the Spirit will teach us what we need. Perhaps we need to go on a walk or read a book. If God is our mentor we will have the Spirit teaching us and telling us when it's time to get back in the battle. The Spirit will teach us when we have been on the computer to long or whether we are wasting our time and need to do something else.

More headgate thoughts. Are we pursuing the internet, book reading, TV time, shopping, crafting with the Spirit? Have we first done our family work for the day and ensured that everything is well ordered? Then with the Spirit directing us we will read the right book for the right amount of time. We will pursue worthwhile art that will bless our family. We will use the internet for a limited time to study or do family history. We will do it at the right time and for the right amount time because the Spirit will be our constant companion.

When we have the power of the Spirit, which comes from correct priorities, we will have that constant guide telling us what to do and how to live our lives. We will learn how to submit. We will have Christ has our 'living center.'

Through the years I have seen women (and many times it has been me!) who are running their lives from one sporting event to the next, one running workout to the next, or one project to the next, one workbook page to the next, etc. etc. Most of them are harried, stressed, tired, and empty. Their life is being controlled by society's demands and expectations.

Again I am grateful for Sister Beck's counsel. Whether we home educate or not we can find balance in our lives by seeking to fulfill our priorities for the day. Again that promised blessing is the ongoing companionship of the Spirit with its great blessing of joy filling our lives!

Regular Disclaimer

Dear Fellow Readers,

It is that time again when I need to give my regular disclaimer. Usually I just throw it in as part of a blog post, but today I thought I would let it enjoy its very own topic.

It seems every once in a while I get a new round of blog readers that get a little nervous about what I write. I appreciate all my readers. You add much insight into my life! I hope that this helps answer some emails and blog comment questions! Keep asking and eventually I will check my inbox and get back to you. : )

I love to learn and seek knowledge. I love ideas. I love seeking truth. Sometimes when I discover some kernel of truth or some interesting idea I will write a blog post about it. I share only a fraction of my big grand ideas with the public. Most I keep hidden in my heart and discuss them with my husband and my dearest friends.

As I said sometimes I throw out my ideas in a blog post. Sometimes these things come in the form of writings by modern prophets, living and dead. Sometimes I comment on those thoughts and other times I just copy them straight out of the book and let you discover what you will from those writings.

The reason I write is to share the things I learn. I desire everyone to seek their own revelation. I don't believe that as we untangle ourselves out of the web of Babylon that we will be untangled the same way. We must learn line upon line and precept upon precept. Although the untangling power can only come through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Therefore I share things that may help you receive an "a-ha" that you can use on your journey "home." How we apply will be completely different from one person to the next. What is helpful in one family is not always helpful in another family.

A comment was made by a reader that I may be "looking beyond the mark." This is an interesting comment that of course deserves introspection. What does that reference really mean? The Book of Mormon prophet Jacob teaches us that the Jews "despised the words of plainness and killed the prophets, and sought for things that could not understand." Through this and their blindness which "came by looking beyond the mark" they fell. I believe this reference was also used by a Seventy in a talk several years ago were he likened it to "gospel hobbies." I don't remember for sure because I don't have the internet and can't look it up. So the question is, "Am I looking beyond the mark?" The answer to both is the same, no. What am I looking to? Jesus Christ. My goal each morning is to center my life on the "living Christ" and to submit to Him and His will to me. I rejoice in the words of plainness and in the prophet's words. When the prophet very clearly states something I take it for truth. It would seem to be that looking beyond the mark would mean finding a different meaning than, "if the Saints would know the will of the Lord they would stop eating swine's flesh." What about it being a gospel hobby? Hopefully the examples and explanation below will help.

Why do I wear a skirt? It helps me remember my role as matriarch. It helps me to feel the Spirit more. I do it because I notice a change in my heart. Not because I think I have too. Not because I think anyone else should either. In my own personal life it is a way that I can "raise the bar" and stay more focused on my role. I shared my experiences only to help others glean ideas for their own personal life. I also only shared quotes from 100 years ago from church leaders because they were pleading about modesty (and Sister Beck said to study the history). The quotes caused me to ask hard questions and I received personal revelation. Modern prophets have stated what the standard is for today, but what can I learn about that standard now and before? Where is my heart?

The Word of Wisdom. As far as I know I have never commented on what our family eats and doesn't eat online and especially on my blog. I had one post where I shared thoughts from Brigham Young, a prophet, on what he had to say about food. I made only a brief comment on that post to the effect that I think that our habits with eating were just as important as what we ate. So if any of that was extreme then Brigham Young was extreme because I only quoted him. Again, he was very plain. I didn't dispise his words of plainness or reject his message in my heart.

As far as what I wear and what are family eats I would say that it is not a gospel hobby. I think I spend less time thinking about what I wear and what food I eat/prepare than any other women I know. I absolutely do not think about food during the day. I pray in the morning about what I should fix and whatever I feel impressed to do I make the necessary preparations and no other thought goes into it. For public record we do eat meat, but not very much.

I deeply appreciate these thought provoking questions that cause me to reflect and strive to keep myself firmly centered in my Savior Jesus Christ, and seeking Him as my Living Center.

To summarize I seek to share my ideas that may or may not help you in your journey of being a mother who knows. However with Christ, the Spirit and the Sisterhood we share on our blogs hopefully we will each be propelling forward, onward and upward to our Heavenly Home.

Love always my friends,

Deanna

Walking to Zion: Restoring Gender to the Family

This topic may seem the most surprising of my goals in Walking to Zion. Through the years I've come to see it as a serious problem infiltrating society today.

In the second paragraph of the Proclamation it reads, "Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." Initially when I read this line of the Proclamation I always thought it was interesting that they included it in there. Of course gender is important. Recently however, I have come to see (of course) their divine wisdom in including this in a manifesto on the family.

I am amazed at the changes racing through our society. When we go to "town" my children often remark, "Is that a boy or a girl?" It is becoming harder and harder to tell. We are on a collision course in the world of a people that are unisex. This is manifested in many ways. Men are feminized and women are masculine. Women can work in any job, including front line combat while men are transitioning to stay at home nurturers. Women are crude and men wear make-up.

I see this "unisex" world having two parts. The first is that we are unisex is dress and the second we are unisex in action.

Speaking of the first the Lord told the children of Israel in the Law of Moses, "The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do are abomination unto the Lord thy God." (Deuteronomy 22:5)

I have been pondering on this scripture for a long time. I have realized that we are dressing like men today! I have thought about my jeans, my pony tails, my tennis shoes, my baseball caps, my t-shirts, my sweatshirts….Ugh!!! In my state of 'frump' I have dressed like a man. Why? That's what they sell first and that's what everyone else wears.

Another tidbit is the slogan of, "Tough enough to wear pink." I know that breast cancer awareness is important. However, I don't think that feminizing our men is the right way to do it. Very subtle.
I'm sure the junction to not dress like a man only applied to the Law of Moses and the Children of Israel anyway. The law of was fulfilled so it doesn't have anything to do with me today. Whew! (Yeah, I wish that was true). Something to think about.

So besides the fact that we are dressing like men (or the men like women) we are not teaching masculine and feminine roles. We are teaching our children that they can do anything and be anything. The church understood the need to make sure parents teach their children correct gender roles by creating a section specifically aimed at this in the booklet, "A Parent's Guide," published in 1985. Here are some of their thoughts:

"Considerable controversy has been aroused of late around such terms as sexism, feminism, and machismo, as if there is something wrong with being too male, too female, or too virtuous. President Kimball said, 'I sincerely hope that our Latter-day Saint girls and women, and men and boys, will drink deeply of the water of life and conform their lives to the beautiful and comprehensive roles the Lord assigned to them.'

"But members of the Church must not be deceived about one immutable truth: there is eternal significance in being a man or a woman. The history of the gospel from Adam to this final dispensation documents equal respect for the roles of men and women and the need for all men and women to develop their gifts to the utmost through living the commandments of God. But within that same gospel framework are some realities about differences between the two genders. This means that there are some exclusive things men are to do and some that women are to do. A most appropriate time for this development is the interlude between early childhood and adolescence. President Kimball clarified the eternal significance of gender identity when he said:

"'Some people are ignorant or vicious and apparently attempting to destroy the concept of masculinity and femininity. More and more girls dress, groom, and act like men. More and more men dress, groom, and act like women. The high purposes of life are damaged and destroyed by the growing unisex theory. God made man in his own image, male and female made he them.'

"Girls ought to be taught the arts and sciences of housekeeping, domestic finances, sewing and cooking. Boys need to learn home repair, career preparation and the protection of women. Both girls and boys should know how to take care of themselves and how to help each other. By example and by discussion, both sexes need to learn about being male or female, which in summary, means becoming husbands and fathers or wives and mothers, here ore hereafter." (Pages 25-29)

Here are some general goals we have been working on:

1. For the women/girls of the family to dress feminine.
2. For the men/boys of the family to dress masculine.
3. Create a culture saturated with men acting like men.
   1. Be around other families where the men/boys act like men/boys.
   2. Read books (and other media choices) where there are strong, tough men who protect women.  We enjoy the the books of the author Louis L'Amour.
   3. Men/boys expected to work and protect women including open doors, helps with coats, and talk respectfully around women.
   4. Learn masculine skills.
4. Create a culture saturated with women acting like women.
   1. Be around other families where the women/girls act like women/girls.
   2. Read books (and other media choices) where women are feminine from books written by Louisa May Alcott, L.M. Montgomery, etc.
   3. Women/girls are expected to feed, clothe, and encourage their men.
   4. Learn feminine skills.
5. Learn and study what nurture, preside, protect, and provide really mean.

I think that it is important that we reclaim our families from the unisex culture that is threatening our destruction.