Wednesday, August 25, 2010

What I'm Learning and Some Clarification

It is such a blessing to change and learn new things about myself.  This life is about progression and I am grateful to be a part of a mortal experience.

I wanted to clarify just a bit to make sure you all understood that when I said I was taking down my idols you understood that to be symbolically.  While I technically did take down my chore charts and family schedule I did so only because I learned that mine were wrong.  I knew that I needed to have a different focus.  That would be a God focus.  I just hadn't included God in it.  Sure it had good stuff, but it wasn't God's plan for my family.  Duh. 

So I will be rewriting them.  They will just be different.  I haven't even had the brain power to think about my goals yet, but I'm excited to change some of them around.  I have learned, like I expressed (probably poorly), that my goals were all performance based.  I think some goals should be performance based, they help us grow for sure!  However, I am literally all performance based.  I am the queen at multi-tasking, goal accomplishing, never late, always pushing myself, more, more, more etc., etc.  Sad but true.  Can we all still be friends?  I may need some one to hold my hand. Sigh....

My goals will look more like this; have more patience with my children, take time to really listen to my children, make sure I laugh with them, make an effort to show my visiting teaching sisters that I love them, make sure the primary children I lead know that I love them, etc.  Does that make sense at all?  I know there are some out there that are the exact opposite of me.  They need to set goals about when to wake up, have a schedule, make a list, etc. etc.  My problem was that I literally couldn't just BE.  I have always had the attitude that I need to be constantly accomplishing something.  If I was awake, I had to have a purpose.  Either I was reading, cleaning, teaching, cooking, fixing, list making (!), etc.  I was always doing something.  I couldn't ever sit on the couch and visit and giggle with my kids.  Now you know how rotten I am.  I'm just grateful I was able to final step out of the box or line I was on to see the whole picture.

I also want to make sure you know that I LOVE books.  If any of you have a goodreads account with me you already know that.  I look forward to continuing to enjoy the many wonderful books out there that is world has to offer.  Because I'm trying to focus more on BEing I probably won't read as much.  I read too much anyway.  I average 120 books read a year.  That's adult books.  See, I do read a lot.  So don't feel I'm being extreme if my average goes down to two or three a month.  I look forward to continuing to read great books with my children.  Right now we are reading "Swiss Family Robinson" and we are loving it.

Now that I've spilled forth my guts I really do hope that you can understand me.  I was told I was too shocking, abrasive and not gentle.  I was told I'm usually gentle.  That's good, gentle is good.  Hopefully I'm back to gentle. 

On a happy note, we were able to spend the early morning hours in the temple with Liberty.  Our temple as an "open session" for baptisms on Wednesday's at 6:30 AM and so we can come in early and do baptisms.  She just turned 12 last month so she went last month for the first time with us and now she's been able to go again.  We hope to continue to take her one time a month.  It's been a great experience so far.  She is looking forward to doing them in Washington, DC next month.  Such a neat experience.

11 comments:

buzy bee said...

This is the very thing that I love so much about homeschooling! We learn the things we need to learn. I am also an A type personality. But I have learned that is not what the Lord wants me to be...he wants me to be slow, to listen, to value. People always say to me...I could never do what you do because I'm not "structured" enough. I laugh and think...lucky you, that is the very thing I need to learn. And yet probably being more structured is the very thing that they need to learn.
I appreciated your post and yesterday's. I was having a history lesson for mommy time...it was so great and then the kids were working on a project and I read your post and I went back and sat down with them again and I said...why do we need to know these things. They had some good answers. Then I said, why does God want us to know these things. I got some even better answers. Thanks for your inspiration!

crazy4boys said...

I do not find you shocking, abrasive or non-gentle. I enjoy the way you challenge my thinking. You have helped me become a better mother and homeschooler. Thanks!

I am the opposite of you and buzy bee. I don't DO enough and have no structure. And I'm not always 'present' like I should be. Well, I'm in the room reading, but not really interacting.

Thanks for encouraging me to look at my life and see where I can change.

Dana ♥ said...

I wish you success on your journey of discovery. For each of us, that looks different. Just when I reach a new "higher" clarity, I realize that the rollercoaster drop to humility and new learning is just followimg the hilltop. ☺ Thanks for sharing your journey.

buzy bee said...

Sorry...commenting a lot lately :) Must be because I need to blog but have not had time :) I wanted to share something we have been doing for chores and incentives. We call it the path of happiness. And I got the idea from ataleofourquest to use a ladder to motivate. But everytime we move up the ladder by doing chores, choosing good things, helping others, being obedient etc. we move towards happiness instead of a reward so I get to reinforce when we "earn" our points how happy that makes me, or how happy we feel when the house is clean or how joyful I am when I see good choices being made. When we move down the ladder by being disobedient, or uncooperative, or have bad attitudes we talk about how we do not feel happy, how honestly I do not and they admit neither do they. It has been a good motivator and catalyst to talking about BEing instead of just working towards an ice cream cone :) Sorry for taking up too much time. I think I will go blog on my own blog now :)

Kassie said...

Guess I'm like Crazy4boys and don't DO enough. Usually my New Year's goal is to DO more. I like your thoughts on this though and I have been pondering them.
I read Swiss Family Robinson to my kids a few years ago in our first homeschooling year. We loved it and when we were finished we had a "Swiss Family Robinson Day" celebration. You can read about it at: http://kassie-justanother.blogspot.com/2008/05/swiss-family-robinson-day.html

Tricia said...

Okay- I just got caught up on your last few posts. These are the things I think about! BEING and not DOING when it comes to my purpose as a mother and "educator" of my children. This is what has been lacking for me in TJED- and the basis of my comment a few weeks back about a mother's "Free Time." There is a better way, I feel, and have SO wanted to discuss this with someone. Fortunately, I can discuss it with heaven. And maybe you? =)

Deanna Householder said...

From one Deanna to another....it seems like I am reading my own journal! Crazy! It gives me so much comfort and hope though to know that I am not alone in my tendencies and my desires to change. Thank you for taking the time to write all that you do and for sharing so much of yourself and your thoughts!

Karen said...

I love the idea of throwing out everything and only adding back what you know is needed. I also love your examples about bow you're going to phrase your goals. I agree that we don't need to be always doing stuff, but instead we need to be sure our hearts are in the right place at any given moment. I also think that it is in the doing that we become. We can't merely think our way to Heaven, we must listen and do. Beautiful thoughts! Thanks so much!

Kendra said...

Love this post! oh and reading about you going to the temple with your 12 year old made me really excited for that day with my kids!!

Just Lara said...

Taking our son to the Temple on his twelfth birthday was the best birthday celebration we have ever had in our family. We will do that with all our children. We are lucky to have a homeschool group here that goes to the temple every Friday.

Cassandra said...

Thanks for this post. I'm a DOING person rather than a BEING person. I'm always doing something, working toward a goal, and I feel guilty when I'm being "lazy."

My husband and I were talking last night about when I used to work full time. I would take 1 week vacations twice a year. Not to actually take a vacation, mind you, but to come home and work full time as a homemaker! Even my vacations involved work, though I believe I loved to work at homemaking then precisely because I couldn't stay at home.

Now that I'm at home, I'm always working on projects and making lists. I don't know how to just BE. So if you learn more on this topic, please post! It will really help me out. :)