It is such a blessing to change and learn new things about myself. This life is about progression and I am grateful to be a part of a mortal experience.
I wanted to clarify just a bit to make sure you all understood that when I said I was taking down my idols you understood that to be symbolically. While I technically did take down my chore charts and family schedule I did so only because I learned that mine were wrong. I knew that I needed to have a different focus. That would be a God focus. I just hadn't included God in it. Sure it had good stuff, but it wasn't God's plan for my family. Duh.
So I will be rewriting them. They will just be different. I haven't even had the brain power to think about my goals yet, but I'm excited to change some of them around. I have learned, like I expressed (probably poorly), that my goals were all performance based. I think some goals should be performance based, they help us grow for sure! However, I am literally all performance based. I am the queen at multi-tasking, goal accomplishing, never late, always pushing myself, more, more, more etc., etc. Sad but true. Can we all still be friends? I may need some one to hold my hand. Sigh....
My goals will look more like this; have more patience with my children, take time to really listen to my children, make sure I laugh with them, make an effort to show my visiting teaching sisters that I love them, make sure the primary children I lead know that I love them, etc. Does that make sense at all? I know there are some out there that are the exact opposite of me. They need to set goals about when to wake up, have a schedule, make a list, etc. etc. My problem was that I literally couldn't just BE. I have always had the attitude that I need to be constantly accomplishing something. If I was awake, I had to have a purpose. Either I was reading, cleaning, teaching, cooking, fixing, list making (!), etc. I was always doing something. I couldn't ever sit on the couch and visit and giggle with my kids. Now you know how rotten I am. I'm just grateful I was able to final step out of the box or line I was on to see the whole picture.
I also want to make sure you know that I LOVE books. If any of you have a goodreads account with me you already know that. I look forward to continuing to enjoy the many wonderful books out there that is world has to offer. Because I'm trying to focus more on BEing I probably won't read as much. I read too much anyway. I average 120 books read a year. That's adult books. See, I do read a lot. So don't feel I'm being extreme if my average goes down to two or three a month. I look forward to continuing to read great books with my children. Right now we are reading "Swiss Family Robinson" and we are loving it.
Now that I've spilled forth my guts I really do hope that you can understand me. I was told I was too shocking, abrasive and not gentle. I was told I'm usually gentle. That's good, gentle is good. Hopefully I'm back to gentle.
On a happy note, we were able to spend the early morning hours in the temple with Liberty. Our temple as an "open session" for baptisms on Wednesday's at 6:30 AM and so we can come in early and do baptisms. She just turned 12 last month so she went last month for the first time with us and now she's been able to go again. We hope to continue to take her one time a month. It's been a great experience so far. She is looking forward to doing them in Washington, DC next month. Such a neat experience.