Is the Glass Half Full or Half Empty?

Recently I was out visiting some women as a Relief Society Presidency.  I love making visits because the Spirit continues to testify to me of the greatness of the women I'm surrounded with. Making visits helps me to love them more, understand them and appreciate them.  One sister we were visiting said that she has always been a person who finds that the glass is half empty.  She said she has had to fight this negative thinking every day of her life.

This statement started me thinking.  I used to be a person who viewed life as a glass half empty, but I don't generally now.  What happened? When did it happen? How did it happen?  Somewhere along the way I stopped being a pessimist.  Many people tend to view life in a negative way.  If you do and would like to see how I changed some of my attitudes then reader, read on...

*Please note: In saying that the glass is half full it is suggesting that a person view's life and life's experiences in a positive way.  Viewing life with a half empty glass is attributed to looking at life and life's experiences in a negative way.  Here is a short article on this idiom. Another. And one more.

These thoughts came:

1. For me living with a glass half empty was part of my natural man, or our 'earthly man' as President Kimball taught us. He said, "The 'natural man' is the 'earthly man' who has allowed rude animal passions to overshadow his spiritual inclination."  So living with a glass half empty or being a negative person is kind of the way I naturally want to go.  But of course we can overcome the natural man.  The natural man dwells in negatives, but God is about positives.

2. Living with a glass half empty is also a sign of fear.  I used to think nothing good would ever happen. Nothing good could possibly come out an uncomfortable situation.  I tended to assume the victim role, the whinny role and will everyone please notice me role.  All signs of fear.  If I'm living in fear and not with faith then I need to repent.

3.  Perhaps living life with a good and happy attitude is a gift of the spirit.  I know I say everything good and positive is a gift of the spirit.  Maybe it is and maybe it isn't.  I know this though: all good things come from God.  So in a way they are gifts.  Call it what you may.  I also know that if we ask for a gift and it's a good gift the Father will give it too us. (D & C 88: 63-64) We are all born with a couple specific gifts.  I think of them as freebies that we get to keep as long as we stay worthy.  The rest we have to work for.  But, we can claim them.  Some of us may be born with an innate sense of worth, a happy cheery heart, the ability to be a peace maker, a heart of gold, a strong testimony, etc.  We all have our freebies.  Just because some of us might not be the glass is half full kind of girl doesn't mean we can't become one.

Okay, so this is what I try to do everyday:

1.  Praise God.  Everyday I need to thank Him for His blessings. I try to notice all the wonderful blessings God has given me.  We are all so blessed.  Sometimes I make lists.  Sometimes I write them down in my journal.  Some people write them on their blogs.  Whatever.  I try to notice my blessings and express gratitude for them. Doing so has changed my life!!!! The Lord teaches us:

"And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea more."

2. Serve Others.  Talk to people in the store.  Say hi to people.  Notice people.  Visit a widow.  Make cookies  for FHE and then share half with the neighbor.  Call our visiting teaching sisters even if you have already "seen" them for the month.  Do some indexing.  Send a happy text to a friend out of the blue telling them how much we appreciate them and we hope they are having a great day.  Make our child's bed.  Just once.  Just because.  The point is to stop thinking about myself.  The more negative I feel myself getting in a day the more I realize that I've just been thinking about myself.  I perceive my problems as great.  But the moment I focus outward is the moment I realize I'm okay because the Spirit comes.  The Spirit brings peace to my heart and I know God is taking care of me.  My problems aren't that bad. Trust. Smile.  Breath. Think of the big picture.

It's in those service moments I'm also reminded, "oh yeah, I came to earth to be tested."  God's not punishing me.  He's helping me strengthen my heart and my testimony.  Where is my heart? Am I God-centered?  Or am I me-centered?  If I'm God-centered then I'm progressing and coming closer to my heavenly home.

3. Change my thoughts.  I wrote all about that here. This past week something happened to someone else that made me a little CraZy.  Mainly I was just irritated about the situation.  It came down to the fact that I kept replaying the situation over and over in my head. Basically I was judging someone over and over.  I kept thinking, "really, that's how we act now?"  It was on replay.  Finally after a day or do I snapped out of it and said, "enough!"  I prayed, repented of judging them and some other bad thoughts, and spend the rest of the week rejecting Satan's attempts to keep me thinking about it.  It's been tough.  But I have to reject the lies and quote the truth. My natural man so wants to dwell on it. Grrr.

4.  Repent.  Yeah, I always come back to this one don't I? I think the gift of the atonement is the most amazing thing ever.  Repenting doesn't mean we were bad, are bad or are forever to be bad.  Repenting means, "Hurray, I'm coming closer to the Savior today because I've recognized some sins and I'm changing them with Christ."  Elder Bednar said,

"Every appetite, desire, propensity, and impulse of the natural man may be overcome by and through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. We are here on the earth to develop godlike qualities and to bridle all of the passions of the flesh."

(Love the absolutes in that statement). So yes, we are natural men and women with a propensity to sin and feel sorry for ourselves, but through the Atonement of Jesus Christ we can overcome all those propensities.  How sweet is that?

I believe absolutely that any weakness we have, like looking at life believing that the glass is half empty, is something we can change.  As I have overcome this weakness my life as changed so much.  I feel freer, happier, my faith is stronger... Life just becomes that much more awesome.

What ideas would you add that have made your life a 'glass half full' one?

The First Day of Our New Life: Faith Over Fear

Liberty: 2013 Horse Grand Champion at the County Fair!

I started out the New Year planning great things for home school, family and personal enrichment.  It was going to be another great year! All was going along as I planned.  Then one day late in January while I was on a walk the Spirit said, "I want to give you some trials.  You will be strong enough to handle them. Is that okay?"  I choked.  Every worse case scenario went through my head. Of course there is only one choice.  I trust God.  I want to serve Him always.  So I took a deep breath and said, "yes." I tried not to think about it. There was no sense worrying about anything.  Faith over fear.

Then in February Mr. Patriot, my husband become sick.  Very sick.  For a month he couldn't get out of bed.  He couldn't even lift his head up.  From the very first moment that I realized he was sick the Spirit said, "He is going to be sick for a very long time.  But don't worry.  Everything will be okay."  So while many friends and family were sure that he was dying I knew he was okay.  We did due diligence and went to several doctors.  They were baffled.  He finally became well enough to do basic activities.  His energy levels fluctuate on a given day from 20-60% of his "previous life."  He often goes into shock.  I do not know why. He works 15 hours a week now as an average, but sometimes he doesn't work at all during the week .  He works from home.  He has limited energy and when its used up he's done. Some days he can do more than other days. Somedays I have to dress him.  Our life together has required getting, "a new normal."

In the meantime I have learned how absolutely amazing my sweet husband is!!! He continues to make family and church/priesthood duties a priority.  He is always smiling and happy.  He is always making jokes. He still provides for us in amazing ways.  The Lord has been very good to us and has blessed us financially and so this as not been a financial burden.  I have come to see from this experience that he is dedicated to the Lord and trusts Him always.

In June I woke up one morning with the overwhelming impression that God wanted us to put our children back in public school.  This was shocking! Never was that considered.  Never was that talked about.  There was never a chance of that happening.  Unless of course God told us to do that.  So after much prayer and fasting Mr. Patriot and I knew that this was the will of the Lord.  The kids were brave.  They took it well.  They said we will follow God and we trust you.  I knew then for sure that I had amazing kids.  This rising generation is AWESOME!!!

The rest of the summer was spent talking about being in toxic environments, being taught false things, peer pressure, being true to yourself,  etc. etc.  I felt like a train was coming and my foot was stuck in the tracks and there wasn't anything to do but to take it head on knowing that I would die. Things will never be the same again.

The first day of school came and went yesterday and the kids took it like champs.  They have amazing attitudes.  They are positive.  They are good kids and are determined to stand and "catch the wave."  They know why they are there.  They are there to show kindness, light, hope, character, and excellence.  It will be long.  It will be hard.  But I choose faith over fear. God knows what He is doing.

I felt promised from the very beginning that God will protect my children.  I felt assured that they would not be spiritually lost. When we received school blessings (in August now instead of January-EVERYTHING it seems is different in our life now!) I was told that, "nothing outside the walls of my home could destroy my children." So true.  Great promise.

This summer I had told Mr. Determination that I felt like I was sacrificing my children.  He promptly replied, "They aren't yours to sacrifice."  True again.  They are God's and I must follow His plan for them, sigh! Faith over fear.

So what am I doing with my life now?  I went through mourning in a way this summer.  My only hobby was home schooling.  So I've had to learn some hard things about myself.  God has different plans for me. Everyone in our house is creating a new normal.  That's okay, God knows what He's doing.  Faith over fear.

How is God calling you to exercise your faith over your fear?

A Sense of Worth

The last couple of years I have noticed when I talk to other women or read women’s blogs there is an undertone of lack of worth among the sisters of Zion. Why is that?  Of course that can be traced back to Satan.  President Joseph F Smith said that the women of the church need,

“to lead the world and…especially the women of the world in everything that is praiseworthy, everything that is God-like, everything that is uplifting and this is purifying to the children of men.”

If we, as women of Christ, feel a lack of value we won’t be able to fulfill our purposes in the last days, we will be distracted by feeling unneeded and inadequate. (Which is Satan’s plan). That is why I wanted to write this.  To tell you how I finally came to believe I had worth. 

I used to be a person that didn’t think I was ever good enough for anything.  A great very many of us I think felt or feel like this.  I do think some people come to Earth with an innate sense of their worth however.  I believe this is a gift of the Spirit.  One reason I believe this is because my husband and a couple of my children intrinsically know they have value.  While some of my other children cry and pout at any side ways glance because “they know” someone is mad at them or whatever the grievance may be.  Some of us aren’t born with a sense of worth burning as brightly as others. I have come to realize that it is a gift of the spirit we can claim.   It is a gift we must seek if we want to fulfill our purposes here in the last days.

One day while pondering in the early morning hours a couple of years ago it came to me that I am here on Earth and there are two channels.  One channel (which is quieter) is from my Creator and He sends messages of light, truth and love.  The other channel (this one screams) is from my would-be Destroyer and the messages are darkness, lies and hate.  I came to realize that everyday my self-worth channel was set on the lying channel.  These are some of the messages on the two channels:

Creator:

You are a child of God.

Your life has meaning and purpose.
You have a divine nature.
I want you to come home to me.
The worth of souls is great.
I need you.
 
Destroyer:
You are worthless.
You can’t do anything right.
You’ll never be good enough, so don’t try.
You’re a fool.
You’re family and friends think you are ridiculous.
You are not needed for anything.
 
The lying messages are easier to receive because no effort is required.  It is a “path of least resistance” message.  It is easier to listen to these messages the same way it is easier to eat candy and junk food.  We feel sick afterwards but we keep eating because some how we think it is feeding us and it is an easier message to partake of.

When realization dawned, I realized I wanted and needed to change the frequency.  Of course I want life and not death.  But how do you change 30+ years of entrenched messages of lies?  I realized it was like loosing 50 pounds of fat (or maybe a lot more!).  I realized I had to change, but it was still overwhelming.  It is so much easier to keep indulging.  (Or so I thought of course).  So what was the answer?

Repentance.  It was not the answer I wanted to hear.  But it is always the answer.  I believed Satan.  I had put my trust in Satan.  I had let him be my god for sending me self worth messages.  I had been deluding myself into thinking I wasn’t sinning, but as a daughter who had made baptismal and temple covenants I did know what the truth was.  I just wasn’t believing it before.  I realized that not trusting in God was breaking the commandments.  The first commandment is to love God.  The God.  Of course it didn’t make me evil or awful.  It simply meant I couldn’t progress like I wanted to until I changed.  It meant I wasn’t able to receive the light I wanted until I realigned myself to God.  Elder Cook said in the last conference, “When our commitment is diminished for any reason, part of the solution is repentance.”

So I prayed.  I was sorry.  I wanted to listen to light and truth.  I realized that I needed to exercise faith.  After all the years of gospel teaching the plain and simple truth was applying the first principles of the Gospel.  Faith.  Since I didn’t have a testimony of my own self worth I had to start with a particle of faith.  I had to trust God when he taught that I really was a child of God and He needed me.  I had to believe the message He was sending.  I had to believe they were the truth.  I had to exercise my faith and believe Him.

Then came the work.  Because that is what faith is: ACTION.  It becomes a time to act and not be acted upon.  It becomes time to give up on the path of least resistance. It was time to take the higher road, do an about face, and turn to God. 

I had to reject the messages.  Simply quoting President Uchtdorf.  “STOP IT !”  Stop listening to the lies and the darkness.  Stop believing that Satan is telling the truth.  To do this each time a lie came in to my mind I had to reject the lie and quote the truth.

“You are stupid…….stop……wrong message…….I am a child of God and He loves me.”

“You will never be good enough for exaltation…stop…..wrong message……I have a divine destiny….my life as meaning and purpose…..”

Again.  Reject the lie. Quote the truth.  And believe it.  It is hard at first.  I was amazed how often the lies stream in through out the day and I didn’t even realize it.  It is easier to wallow in a lie from Satan about ourselves than it is to listen to a message of truth.

After you reject the lie and quote the truth you need to redirect yourself.  It’s time to stop thinking about ourselves. The treatment is the same as those struggling with angry thoughts or pornographic images.  We could “hum our favorite tune,” praise God, count our many blessings, and/or we can go serve some one.  We get our minds off of the train of thought we were going down.   We get our minds off of ourselves.

The miracle is that as you reject the lie, change to the truth channel and think about others your seed of faith grows until you KNOW.  You know and now you have a testimony.  You know you are a child of God.  You know you do have individual worth.  You finally really believe your life has purpose.  People do like you. And you know God loves you.

And then you live.  You discover greater depth to your relationships.  You feel a greater capacity to love other people.  You feel joy.  You grow.  You receive personal revelation. In a nutshell you soar with God.

Thoughts from Spring 2012  General Conference on this subject:

Elder Hales, “…a life of joy and happiness, is an essential part of Heavenly father’s plan for each one of us…As our spiritual desires increase, we become spiritually self-reliant….the sacrament gives us an opportunity to come to ourselves and experience ‘a mighty change’ of heart-to remember who we are and what we most desire.”

Elder Soares, “To sow in the Spirit means that all our thoughts, words, and actions must elevate us to the level of the divinity of our heavenly parents….the natural man, which allows people to be influenced by passion, desires, appetites, and drives of the flesh instead of looking for inspiration from the Holy Ghost…Therefore, our daily question must be, ‘Do my actions place me in the Lord’s or in the enemy’s territory?”  JUST READ THIS WHOLE TALK.

Elder Scott, “One must be ever mentally and physically clean and have purity of intent so that the Lord can inspire….The more closely you follow divine guidance, the greater will be your happiness here and for eternity-moreover, the more abundant your progress and capacity to serve.”

Brother Ochoa quoting Elder Holland, “I am looking for men young and old who care enough about this battle between good and evil to sign on and speak up.  We are at war.”

President Uctdorf, “This ‘mighty change’ of heart is exactly what the gospel of Jesus Christ is designed to bring into our lives.”

Elder Nelson, “Spiritual progress is attained through the steps of faith, repentance, baptism, the gift of the Holy Ghost and enduring to the end, including the endowment and sealing ordinances of the holy temple.  Just as the body requires daily food for survival, the spirit needs nourishment as well.  The spirit is nurtured by eternal truth.”

Read Sister Beck’s talk.

Spiritual Creations

I recently finished reading Elder Bednar’s new book, Increase in Learning: Spiritual patters for obtaining your own answers. 

There are only four chapters in the book. At the end of each chapter there are several “readings” that help the reader learn more about the principles taught.  These readings are his previous related conference and CES talks.  The four chapters are:

1. Our Individual Responsibility to Learn
2. Knowledge, Understanding, and Intelligence
3. Prayerful Inquiry: Asking, Seeking, and Knocking
4. Doctrines, Principles and Applications

This book is power packed with some fantastic tools to help us learn through the Spirit better.  At times there were certain parts that seemed overly simplistic.  Yet, as I took the time to reread and pray I realized there was a great depth of “hidden treasures of knowledge.”  There is so much more for me to understand with this book, but two of the biggest lessons I learned were: spiritually creating your day and the why, the what, and the how of the gospel.

At the recent World Wide Training they talked a lot about the why, the what, and the how of the gospel, or so I’ve been told.  I hear the Training will be (is already?) available on line for us to listen to.  I look forward to that.  Included in the book by Elder Bednar is a DVD that helps with learning and understanding the principles taught in the book.  The interview was particularly helpful in understanding more concretely what Elder Bednar meant with the why, the what, and the how of the gospel.  I’m not going to write more about that only to say these principles have been very helpful in being a parent and also for myself trying to learn what the lord is trying to teach me.

I do want to write about the principle of spiritually creating our day.  On first glance the principle was basic and I thought I already had that down.  Ever think that?  On rereading it I realized there was much to it.  After rereading and rereading the chapter again I starting working through the talks.  His first talk, that I distinctly remember listening too, was from October 2008 and it was called, Pray Always.  He said:

“The patterns used by God in creating the earth are instructive in helping us understand how to make prayer meaningful.  In the third chapter of the book of Moses we learn that all things were created spiritually before they were naturally upon the earth.

“’And now, behold, I say unto you, that these are the generations of the heaven and of the earth, when they were created, in the day that I, the Lord God, made the heaven and the earth,

“And every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew.  For I, the Lord God, created all things, of which I have spoken, spiritually, before they were naturally upon the face of the earth’ (Moses 3:4-5).

“We learn from these verses that the spiritual creation preceded the temporal creation.  In a similar way, meaningful morning prayer is an important element in the spiritual creation of each day-and proceeds the temporal creation or the actual execution of each day. Just as the temporal creation was linked to and a continuation of the spiritual creation, so meaningful morning and evening prayers are linked to and are a continuation of each other.”

Elder Bednar than gives some examples of how to spiritual create your day through prayer.  Basically you go through all the things you want to accomplish, say and be that day.  For example you want to interact with your kids nicely and happily all day.  You express this desire and you visualize yourself doing it.    We ask for help from the Lord.  We work the day through with Him with what he wants us to do.  Basically you play out your day with the Spirit guiding you through it in your mind.

Then you go to work.  As that spiritual creation becomes a physical reality you recognize the Lord’s help with your weaknesses in accomplishing otherwise impossible tasks like being patient or having the energy to do something.  With each realization Elder Bednar reminds us to thank our Father throughout the day for blessing us and lifting us higher.  When we do this he says we are keeping the commandment to, “Let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord” (Alma 37:36).

At the end of the day you review your day.  How did your spiritual and physical creations match up?  Thank Him again for working miracles in our life.  Repent for the things you did wrong.  Reflect what you could have done better in those situations.

That’s basically the main thoughts with it.  I learned from this HOW I can have the Lord much more involved in my life.

I have been earnestly trying doing this.  As I am letting the Lord lead me through my day each morning in prayer I have learned how I can apply this principle to other areas in my life.  For example, I now spiritually create my Sunday School lessons on Sunday morning, I strive to spiritually create my week, my husband is helping guide our family through spiritually creating our week as a family, I spiritually create specific goals or tasks-long or short, etc.  The list goes on and on.  The results are that I am seeing miraculous and AMAZING things happen.  I am doing and being in ways I seemed forever doomed to not bring about.

Another important concept I realized is how important it is to have solid evening prayers.  I have been able to recognize more specifically all the blessings God is pouring out on me and also I feel like I am repenting much better and completely.  After doing this I spent time spiritually creating my early morning wake up.  I pray for help to get up easily and quickly and I visualize myself doing so.  I ask for His help and tell him that as it is 10:30 PM and the thought of getting up at 5AM the next morning is very unappealing.  I say I am tired.  I ask Him to please help me and deliver me from these feelings and this insurmountable obstacle.  This is important to make sure I start my day off right. This is also important because for the first hour or two I don’t prayer beyond a prayer in my heart because if I did I would fall asleep.  So my evening prayers are my spiritual creation for the morning until I am able to say coherently my morning prayers.

Through my reading in this book I have realized the importance of asking the right questions in my prayers.  Joseph Smith could have asked any number of questions but he specifically asked, “Which church should I join?” After finding out that Nephi needed to build a boat he asked, “Where can I find ore to make the tools?”  Asking the right questions is very important.  The process of reading, pondering and prayer help us to learn what the right question is.  When we learn the right question to ask I testify the heavens will and do open!

 Here is one of my favorite statements about prayer found in the Bible Dictionary:

“The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant, but are made conditional on our asking for them. Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them.  Prayer is a form of work, and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings.” (Emphasis added).

 As it says, this amount of mental effort given to prayer takes work.  We are so easily distracted with life that it is hard to quiet our minds enough to communicate with God.  It is worth it though.  All these things have very life changing for me.  I hope some of these thoughts and principles can help you.

Called to Testify

I reread this from President Monson, “Once we have a testimony, it is incumbent upon us to share that testimony with others.”(Ensign, November, 2011 page 67).

So my mind’s been pondering this indepth..  I’ve had a lot of amazing and wonderful experiences the last while and I haven’t really shared them with others.  Sure some shouldn’t be shared, but I have had plenty of faith promoting experiences that should be shared and that could be faith building to many people.  I feel the call to start blogging more.  To testify. To help share the good news.  Now I just have to remember to blog. 

None of these experiences are anything to “write home about” as far as being awe-inspiring or “that should be in the Ensign.”  They are however, quiet faith building experiences that remind me that I am a child of God, God does have a plan for me and He knows exactly what I’m up too.
So where to start?  I feel impressed to let you into my life a little bit.  I have to admit I am not exactly thrilled about that.  We’ll see where this goes….

I have a bad habit.  (Well, I have more than one, but we won’t get that personal today).  I love sleep.  I love to sleep.  I love thinking about when I get to sleep next.  I imagine being in my jammies and snuggled down in bed.  So cozy, warm and blissful.  (It is 20 degrees outside, perhaps that is prompting my cozy, snuggly thoughts).  Just thinking about it is well, “ahhhh.”

So here’s the big problem.  I sleep too much.  I am not a morning person or a night person, I am simply a sleeper.  Perhaps you don’t get enough sleep, but I get plenty.  It gets worse.  The Lord has told me over and over that I need to get up early.  For years it’s the same thing.  So I go in spurts.  I’ve gone months upon months of getting up at 5 AM.  Numerous times I’ve done this.  I do well for six months and then I go back to day dreaming about sleep and it’s just too much and I succumb.  Well, the real problem is the getting up.  Why is it so hard to get up early?  Perhaps the obvious answers are: it’s cold and it’s dark.  Another is that I just love snuggling with my husband.  Why get up?  It’s sooooo hard. 

The Lord’s been inviting me again.  Well, He never stopped, I just didn’t want to listen.  I am like a child with my hands over my ears, “I can’t hear you!”  The plan was working really well until it happened.  The Lord tried a different approach and my husband did something really jerky.  Well, that’s how I initially viewed it.   He heard the Lord call him and so he started getting up early.  He didn’t even discuss it with me.  I am sleeping soundly in his warm arms and then, he’s gone.  He’s up studying on the couch in the cold and in the dark (well outside it is).  And he keeps doing it every morning.

So who am I supposed to snuggle with now? The cat? The dog? The nine year old?  Needless to say I just started to get up with him.  What else can I do?  So here we go on round number 25 of Deanna trying to get up early to obey the Lord.  I hope it lasts because the spiritual outpouring of blessings that come to me when I get up early and study are amazing!  They are more important than my sleep.

Another interesting tidbit is that even when I sleep in (until 7:30) I still go through my routine: journal, conference talk(s), and scripture study every morning.  Usually for just as long too.  However I always get WAY more out of my studying when I study earlier.  Why is that?  Like I said, it’s cold and it’s dark.  My eyes are glued shut and I’m delirious.  But it never fails.  I learn more.  Every single time.

The scripture that always comes to me when I think about this is Doctrine and Covenants 88:83, “He that seeketh me early shall find me, and shall not be forsaken.”  My husband and I always “argue” about this one.  I say it means we should get up early and he says it means we should seek Christ early in our life.  We’re both right I suppose, but it has been a great comfort to me.  I have a testimony that when we get up early the Lord will speak to us, that when we draw near unto Him, He will draw near unto us. (D & C 88:63)

It’s so simple.  I believe it.  But why is it so hard to comply?  I receive so many spiritual blessings when I heed the call to seek Him early.

President Packer said this to the graduates of BYU-H, “These are sobering times you are going out into a world that is different than the world I faced when I was {19}…You won’t survive spiritually unless you know how to receive revelation…I don’t know whether you know how to receive revelation, but you won’t survive without it…it’s a noisy world, and you’re going to have to learn personally, and privately, and individually that revelation will come when the Lord can speak to your feelings…go quietly into the world and quietly go about your affairs-learn that in the still, small hours of the morning the Lord will speak to you.  He will never fail to answer your prayers.”  BYU-H Commencement Address, December 7, 2005.

I find this quote motivating.  Not only about the importance of revelation in our lives (which is a top of the list priority in teaching my children), but because of the promise that the Lord will speak to us in the quiet hours of the morning and teach us everything we can possibly handle.  In those quiet hours He will mentor us on receiving personal revelation and fulfilling the measure of our creation.

So why is it that we learn more in the early morning hours than later?  I don’t know the answers.  Perhaps it’s quiet. Perhaps nothing in the world has had a chance to mess with us yet that early.  Perhaps because it is cold and dark the Lord accepts that seemingly pathetic sacrifice for what it is-the best we can do.

So I hope to testify more regularly about the truths I am learning.  Because again to quote President Monson, "Once we have a testimony, it is incumbent upon us to share that testimony with others."

Some New Testament Thoughts

Hello blogger friends.  How are you?  It's been almost 6 months since I've posted.  I'm not sure what happened.

The last six months have been heavenly. 

I was called as the Gospel Doctrine Teacher this fall.  What a wonderful experience.  I thought I spent a lot of time in the scriptures before, but that has accelerated. What can be better than that?

Some of the thoughts I've had from my studies are:

James 1:8;4:8  "A double minded man is unstable in all his ways....Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.  Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded."

I have been pondering the concept of duplicity.  I of course don't want to be double minded.  How am I? What am I doing, thinking, saying that causes me to be a different person in different situations around different people? I am striving to strip out the hypocrite in me.  What do I really believe?

1 Peter 3:15 "But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear.

Peter was writing to the Saints of Asia Minor "who were in danger of being terrified into a denial of their Lord." (Bible Dictionary: Peter, Epistles of)  Peter was writing them to give them hope and courage in the face of their adversity. 

I don't face this kind of adversity.  I do have opportunities to testify to others and have an answer always.  One day a friend called me who is not LDS.  She asked what I was doing.  Usually I say something general.  On this occasion I answered her very specifically.  "I am reading my Bible."  She responded that she didn't know that "Mormons read the Bible."  We were able to have a nice conversation because I answered specifically instead of generally.

Revelation 12: 10 (from Joseph Smith Translation) "For the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night."

This one was a lightning bolt for me.  The verse is talking about Satan in the War in Heaven.  Before he was cast out. Apparently he was constantly -day and night- accusing everyone to God.  I have always associated Satan as the great deceiver, but now also I see another of his traits- "the accuser."  Again I do not want to be like that either.  What is the opposite of accusing?

I read this in one of my favorite books this week, "Pharisees might be the type who, when they go to worship, criticize the sermon, the song leaders, the people in the choir, the elders, the ministries, and the number of contributions.  They have forgotten that the whole idea behind the Sunday morning gathering is self-examination.  As I spend more more time examining myself, I feel better and happier.  My job description is not to help God fix other people, but to work on myself with the help of God."

Over the last several months I have been focusing on striving to put on my divine nature.  (see Elder Johnson's April talk here).  To strip myself of all the gunk, bad habits, vanity, pride, anger.... and the lust.  Lust is a big one.  Thanks to the apostles Paul and Peter I have come to see how much lust is in my life.  The more I learn the more I realize how much farther I have to go. 

I hope someday that the attributes necessary will some day "abound" in my me that I shall "neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." (2 Peter 1:8)

So to sum up the last six months of my life would be to say that I have been striving to bring about the prophecy of Ezekiel. "And I will give them one heart and I will put a new spirit within you; and I will take the stony heart out of their flesth and will give them an heart of flesh:" (Ezekiel 11:19)

The Blessings of Being God-Centered

I had a ‘lovely’ post almost ready for publication when “poof” off went the computer and gone forever (for whatever reason) went the ‘lovely’ post. Sigh. I wrote about the purposes of Relief Society and how important it is to incorporate them into our lives. It was really just another way of saying the same things I said in a previous post, “Mom, Needs Headgates Too!” So since I have already said that I’ll move on to some fresh thoughts.


I need to let you in on a little secret. For years and years I have not felt self-worth. So dumb huh? How could I feel that when I grew up with “I am a Child of God” and the Young Women’s Program? I think that it’s because I was seeking my worth from the world. I have always been a stay home mom that has tried to do the right things. Somehow though I kept worrying about what the world was thinking about me instead of God and my husband. Let me tell you that in the world’s eye a stay home mom doesn’t earn any prizes. That was the last place the world wanted me.

I’ve mentioned many times that the last two or so years I have diligently worked on submission to my Heavenly Father. Line upon line and precept upon precept God has taught me. (See Elder Bednar’s recent Conference talks to learn more about this wonderful principle). It has just been in the last couple or so months that I have really began to see I truly do have self-worth. I no longer beat myself up about all the things I can’t “do right.” I have come to absolutely love being a nurturer. Love it! I am happy. I have peace. I have a hope in a glorious resurrection.

I have wondered how this happened. I came across a paper when cleaning out things recently and it said this,

What happens when I am temporally (or self) centered?

1. Life is not fair.
2. I am not sure I will qualify for the Celestial Kingdom.
3. I do not have enough time to get all things done.
4. I am overwhelmed.
5. I feel pressure most of the time.
6. I am not sure when the Holy Ghost is with me.
7. I rely on others to make me feel of worth.
8. I feel like a taxi cab driver.
9. My life is not mine.
10. I only enjoy the weekend.
11. I do not feel forgiven.

What happens when I am spiritually (or God) centered?

1. I feel closer to Heavenly Father.
2. I have great hope to be raised unto Eternal Life.
3. I receive more revelation.
4. What I do each day is now worthwhile.
5. I have less stress.
6. When my children make mistakes, I can handle it.
7. My feelings of self-worth have increased one hundred fold.
8. I feel free.
9. I am able to get all things done.
10. I enjoy each day.

As Elder Bednar has taught us we must submit line by line and precept by precept. As we act in faith and go through this process one day we will wake up and we will realize that we are changed. It will be a gradually change that will be so imperceptible that it seems that growth is not happening. But it is!

I have realized that little by little God has been changing me. I have been changing from a life that was temporal or self-centered to a wonderful new life that is now spiritual or God centered. I am becoming that spiritually centered person. Perhaps a number 11 could be added. I feel joy.

A life of submission is a journey that requires a lot of patience with ourselves. It requires a lot of repentance. It requires a willingness to play by Heavenly Father’s rules and not our own. Our progression is not always measurable. But it is worth it. I have a long way to go in my life, but I am beginning to truly see the blessings of submission.

My worth is no longer determined by the world’s standards or ideas. The world’s plan to push entitlements and worldly lust and pleasure on me is rejected. I know that I must stay centered in Jesus Christ. And bit by bit I can remove their damning influence in my life. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

AND I can enjoy Mother’s Day this year without a twinge of guilt or spending the whole day in tears. I am doing what my God wants. I am a mother in Zion that it building up the kingdom of God.

The above list was found in a workbook entitled, “Becoming Spiritually Centered and overcoming the World,” written by James B. Cox.

Prayer is the Soul’s Sincere Desire

I have spent many hours in contemplation on how to make my prayers more meaningful. How may I hear heaven's voice?


Through my years in leadership positions I have heard a constant plea from the Bishops. "Counsel with those in your stewardships to pray. The majority of the membership is not praying, they must learn the power of their prayers." I have thought of this often. While I am praying, am I praying with a sincere heart? Do I understand the power of prayer? I am far from knowing everything but I have learned some ways to make my prayers more impactful in my life. Perhaps some of my thoughts will spark yours.


The Bible Dictionary provides a masterful discourse on the power of prayer. I share a small portion.

"The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant, but are made conditional on our asking for them. Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work, and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings…

"We pray in Christ's name when our mind is the mind of Christ, and our wishes the wishes of Christ-when his words abide in us. We then ask for things it is possible for God to grant. Many prayers remain unanswered because they are not in Christ's name at all; they in no way represent his mind, but spring out of the selfishness of man's heart."

There are several profound and import lessons I learn from this.

1. God has blessings for us. He is willing to grant those blessings to us.
   
2. His blessings are contingent on our asking for them.
   
3. Receiving blessings necessitates are working and doing our share to earn them.
   
4. Prayer is work.
   
5. Prayer is how we obtain the highest of blessings.
   
6. We pray in Christ's name.
   
7. In prayer our mind must be the mind of Christ as we prayer.
   
8. In prayer our wishes must be the wishes of Christ.
   
9. In prayer our words must be the words of Christ.
   
10. When we have the mind, will, and words we may ask for things that are possible for God to grant.
    
11. Some prayers are unanswered because they were not offered with Christ's name.
    
12. Some prayers are unanswered because they represent our selfish heart.
    

For me this is an important list. There is plenty for me to work on! Many questions for me arise. Do I know what blessings God has for me? Have I asked for these blessings? Am I working to secure these blessings? Is prayer work for me? Do I sputter out a rote list of requests? Am I asking for those highest blessings? Am I praying in Christ's name in more than word only? Am I in tune with the mind, wishes and words of Christ so that I may know how to pray? Am I praying for the things I want or things God wants?


Here is another list of things that I have focused on that have added meaning to my prayers.

1. Pray out loud when possible. This helps to organize my thoughts better and requires more faith. Do I really have the faith to utter that thought out loud? This helps with understanding that prayer is work. I've began to see prayer as a "wrestle" with the Lord in which I go back and forth as He teaches me how to think and how to pray. He teaches me what to ask for. My prayers out loud would sound like a conversation that you could only hear the one side too. I have found my mute prayers end up just being a whinny list of requests with minimal effort and little revelation. With silent prayers it is certainly possible to still receive revelation, but my mind wanders and it is overall less effective for me. Even mumbled prayers are better in the bathroom then silent prayers.
   
2. Pray for specifics. This is one I know and understand but I don't always do. Why? Because it's hard and requires work. Sloth is bad. Sometimes I pray just so I can "check it off" for the day. "Yep, I said my morning prayers. I am good with the Lord." While that is good, there is something far better; communing with the Lord. Every single time I take the effort and "work" by asking for very specific things the Lord answers me. Each day I strive to ask for things as specifically as I can. "What can I do to help Leader understand how to count with money a little better today?" "What should I make for dinner today?" "Let me have an opportunity that I may learn what it means to allow my husband to protect me." "What may I do to help Sister Smith, my visiting teaching sister, feel your love today?" "How can I dress feminine today?" "Today I am going to town. We are taking the car. The kids will all be touching each other and it is inevitable that they will start fighting. How should I handle this when they do?" "I would like to start canning more this year. Are there jars somewhere that I could collect that someone may not have a need for any more?" (I did obtain 48 jars with the answer  I received to that prayer). "I am feeling sad (distressed, anxious, annoyed) today. I do not want to feel that way. What may I do right now to cast that sadness away that I may feel the hope of the Savior?" That is one that always seems to be answered. I must simply ask to have the feelings removed and then go and do and the feelings flee away. In the past I would pray to "have a good day," "have the spirit with me," and "be a good mom." That's well and good, and those prayers were always answered, but I have found when I do work and pray for specifics that the blessings are even greater.
   
3. Prayer about your roles/stewardships. I have come to realize that when I pray about my role as wife, mother, and homemaker those prayers are always more meaningful. I pray about my meals, how to be efficient in housekeeping, how to organize my day, how to teach an educational principle, how to teach, how to help my family feel my love, how to have the Spirit more fully in the home, how to recognize Satan's snares that are creeping into my home, how to fulfill counsel from my leaders that has specific relevance to my role in the home, how to help those who come inside my home feel welcome, how to let my light shine in motherhood, …. This also applies to my visiting teaching assignments, my church calling(s), my role as daughter, sister, aunt… I have learned that when I pray for things outside of my roles that I want (that's the selfish part they mentioned in the Bible Dictionary) that my prayers are rejected. I feel confused, needy, whinny, etc. I have realized when I focus on my divine role than I receive the blessings that He has promised to me. The moment I ask for things that the world says I should have by entitlement the Lord cannot bless me. (Again just like the Bible Dictionary teaches).
   
4. Gratitude. President Monson taught us well about this. We must always express our gratitude to Him the giver of all gifts. The scripture that always come to mind for me when I think about the importance of gratitude is in the Doctrine and Covenants 78:19, "And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even and hundred fold, yea, more." I must remember to thank my Heavenly Father for my blessings. This also requires me to be specific. Am I specifically naming the blessings I have received that day?
   
5. Pray three times a day. Our stake president challenged us in our last stake conference to pray three times a day. This should have seemed obvious to me. How often have I read the story of Daniel and Alma where they prayed three times a day? Alma 34:21 says, "Cry unto him in your houses, yea, over all your household, both morning, mid-day, and evening." I have worked on this. I haven't been perfect, but I haven't given up. I am teaching my children to prayer three times a day as well. I have found that I have received some very specific revelation that I would not have received had I not made an effort to obey this counsel.
   
6. Repent. I must always be cleansing myself. Always repenting. Always striving to progress. To change my thoughts little by little. I feel this often when I wrestle with the Lord. He teaches me what my incorrect thought patterns are. He teaches me how to love. Sometimes I don't want to listen. I like my ideas and my agenda. This is how I lay it on the alter or how I take up the cross. Repenting should never be about us feeling worthless or stupid. When I have truly submitted to God and repented of my weaknesses, agenda, improper thought patterns, etc. I feel liberated! I feel free. I recognize a whole new world has been opened up to me!
   
7. Prayer in heart always. This principle is repeated throughout the scriptures. "Praying always that they faint not." (Doctrine and Covenants 75:11, 2 Ne. 32:9, Luke 18:1, etc). Sometimes in my weakness I say, "Must I always be heaven directed? Can't I never have my own thoughts or do my own thing? Does everything have to be spiritual?" Yeah, it does. That is if we want to inherit all the Father hath. We must give all to our Heavenly Father. Every last thought and every last deed. That's of course not to say we will be perfect anytime soon. But that is the expectation. That is why we move line upon line though. Walking. Progressing. Moving forward. Having faith. Believing Him.
   

I'd like to say I do these things all the time. I don't. Knowing what I should do is half the battle though. My friend says we aim for the stars and then we land on the moon, and Christ makes up the difference. Unless we do everything we can (work, faith) Christ can't make up the lack.


I love this hymn. It is truly a great poem. It speaks to my soul.


Prayer is the Soul's Sincere Desire Hymn #145

Prayer is the soul's sincere desire,
Uttered or unexpressed,
The motion of a hidden fire
That trembles in the breast.


Prayer is the burden of a sigh,
The falling of a tear,
The upward glancing of an eye
When none but God is near.


Prayer is the simplest form of speech
That infant lips can try;
Prayer, the sublimest strains
That reach The Majesty on high.


Prayer is Christian's vital breath,
The Christian's native air,
His watchword at the gates of death;
He enters heav'n with prayer.


Prayer is the contrite sinner's voice,
Returning from his ways,
While angels in their songs rejoice
And cry, "Behold, he prays!"


The Saints in prayer appear as one
In word and deed and mind,
While with the Father and the Son
Their fellowship they find.


Nor prayer is made on earth alone:
The Holy Spirt pleads,
And Jesus at the Father's throne
For sinners intercedes.


O thou be whom we come to God,
The Life, the Truth, the Way!
The path of prayer thyself hast trod;
 Lord, teach us how to pray.

Walking to Zion: Spiritual Preparation

We know that in Zion dwells people who are, "of one heart and one mind, and dwel{l} in righteousness; and there {are} no poor among them." (Moses 7:18) In order to live there we must have hearts purified. What does this look like?

Before we discuss that we must understand what Brigham Young said that it doesn't look like. In speaking to the Saints he taught them why they were not allowed to stay in Jackson County. He said,

"Let them look at the beautiful land that the Lord would have given them if all had been faithful in keeping his commandments, and had walked before him as they should….the yoke of Jesus would have been easy and his burden would have been light, and that it would have been a delightful task to have walked in obedience to his commandments and to have been of one heart and one mind; but through the selfishness of some, which is idolatry, through their covetousness, which is the same, and the lustful desire of their minds, they were cast out and driven from their homes. We have been driven many times; but each time if they who professed to be the servants of God had served him with and undivided heart, they would have had the privilege of living in their houses, possessing their lands, attending their meetings and spreading abroad on the right and the left, lengthening the cords of Zion, and strengthening her stakes until the land had been dedicated to the Gospel of the Son of God." (JD 13:1)

D & C 101: 6-8 also speaks of these early saints,

"There were jarrings, and contentions, and envyings, and strifes, and lustful and covetous desires among them; therefore by these things they polluted their inheritances.

"They were slow to hearken unto the voice of the Lord their God; therefore, the Lord their God is slow to hearken unto their prayers, to answer them in the day of their trouble.

"In the day of their peace they esteemed lightly my counsel; but in the day of their trouble, of necessity they feel after me."

We learn that the early saints possessed pride and idolatry. This is truly amazing to me. How were these wonderful pioneer men and women so full of these tendencies? I realize that if they possessed these faults then how great mine must truly be!!!! If they could not claim Zion, I am very, very far from it as well.
I learn from these quotes that in order to inhabit Zion there must be complete submission. There must be a complete removal of idols from my life.

In speaking of what we should be Brigham Young said,

"Let the people be holy, and the earth under their feet will be holy. Let the people be holy, and filled with the Spirit of God, and every animal and creeping thing will be filled with peace; the soil of the earth will bring forth in its strength, and the fruits thereof will be for man. The more purity that exists, the less is the strife…If the people will not serve the Devil another moment whilst they life, if this congregation is possessed of that spirit and resolution, here in this house is the Millennium." (JD 1:203)

"Let our anxiety be centered upon one thing, the sanctification of our own hearts, the purifying of our own affections, the preparing of ourselves for the approach of the events that are hastening upon us. This should be our concern, this should be our study, this should be our daily prayer." (JD 9:3)

I think we begin this quest for holiness by first, "Mak{ing} the Lord Jesus Christ the living center of your home." (Elder Scott, "He Lives! All Glory to His Name! May 2010). When Christ becomes the living center of our lives/homes (and we stop serving the Devil as President Young said) then we will focus on doing all in our power to obey and cleanse ourselves.

My personal experience has taught me that as I submit to "every word which proceed{s} forth out of the mouth of God" (Moroni 7:25) that He takes me where I need to be. I have seen this pattern repeated time after time. The problem of course is why don't I do it all the time? I have great days where I submit and I learn through the Spirit what my weakness are and how I can overcome them. Then there are other days when I don't want to listen and my mind and heart are focused on worldly thoughts and ideas. I realize in these moments that I am like the early Saints who were idolatrous and lustful. Each time I focus on something besides God I am worshiping another God.

That is why this journey is a' walking journey' built line upon line. If I go too fast I will fall. But if I am patient with myself I can repent and refocus day by day. President Young also says,

"Let us take a course to be saved today, and, when evening comes, review the acts of the day, repent of our sins, if we have any to repent of, and say our prayers; then we can lie down and sleep in peace until the morning, arise with gratitude to God, commence the labors of another day, and strive to live the whole day to God and nobody else." (JD 8:124)

In order to go through this process day by day, and live moment by moment by every word that proceeds forth from the mouth of God we must choose to exercise faith. Bishop Edgely said,

"Yes, faith is a choice, and it must be sought after and developed. Thus, we are responsible for own faith. We are also responsible for our lack of faith. The choice is yours….If your faith is proven and mature, choose to nurture it "with great care"...It needs constant nourishment through continued scripture study, prayer, and the application of His word." (Bishop Edgley, "Faith the Choice Is Yours," November 2010).

Each moment and each day we need to strive to become more spiritually pure to dwell in Zion. Each day we need make sure our family is moving closer to that wholeness. We need to do things that bring the Spirit into our lives. Elder Bednar recently taught us we do all the right things so that we can have "the ongoing companionship of the Holy Ghost." (Elder Bednar, "Receive the Holy Ghost," November 2010).

We know what the right things are. Scriptures. Prayers. Church. Sacrament. Fasting. Service. Temple. But while we are doing those things we must make sure that we are allowing the Spirit to go through us and change us. We must be progressing day by day. We must make sure that we are casting off the natural man. We must see that we are releasing our pride, our vain ambitions, our idols, our pessimissim, our doubts…

So in my Walk to Zion I am striving to purify my heart in every way. I am striving to live by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. I am striving to Walk to Zion in Faith.

The Treasures of Our Scriptures

I love my scriptures.  Through the years I have come to value them as a treasure beyond price.  I have a hard time getting up in the morning on some days but thinking about having time to feast in the scriptures and conference talks get me up.

Through the years I have gained testimony that prayer is how we speak to God and the scriptures (and the Holy Ghost) is how He answers us.  I have particularly found guidance in the life and teachings of Jesus Christ.  He truly did go through everything and how He handled life's trials provides our answers.  As I am rereading the New Testament again right now and His life lessons seem particularly prevalent.

Basic thoughts:

• Christ is tempted by Satan at the end of His 40 days of fasting.  He responds by quoting scripture to Satan. Matt. 4:1-11
• Christ learns of John the Baptists death.  He seeks to be alone and immediately after he serves by feeding the 5,000. Later His is able to find solace.  Matt. 14:3-21
• When Christ needed to be alone and to pray He "rises a great while before day" to spend time with His Father. Mark 1:35
• Many came to Him, but He rejected no one. Christ invites, Satan takes captive. Matt. 11:28-30, 2 Ne. 28:20-23
• Christ obeyed all of God's commandments. Mark 1:9
• Christ was active and walked much. Luke 9:56
• Before Jesus choose His Apostles (major decision), He spent the entire night in prayer. Luke 6:12
• He has no tolerance for evil and rebukes those in His presence when they try to tempt Him. Matt 16:23-24
• Christ took naps. Luke 8:23

I have written before on how much we rely on the scriptures in our home. 

• Here is a blog post about how we teach our children to love and use the scriptures.
• Here is a blog post about how I study the scriptures.  This has consistently remained the same through many years.  The time I get up changes with the season and activities, but a serious daily scripture study after this pattern remains the most important thing I do.

I love to read my scriptures.  I am so grateful that we live in a day that while the world is in commotion and the evil one is bent on our destruction that God has given us the great gift of scriptures.  We must read them to know His will and to know Him.

Goals for 2011

Are you thinking about what goals you want to have for the New Year? I love setting goals. Through the years I have set all sorts of goals. I have set goals about the different aspects of my life (emotional, physical, mental, etc) and goals for home education. Sometimes I have had a complete laundry list of goals and other times I have set a couple of goals. I've always tried to work hard on them and I usually do a pretty good job at accomplishing them.

I could give you a discourse on how to set goals and how to accomplish them-I have lectured on it multiple times through the years to various groups of people. I think this year I'm going simple since I have a simple life. It fits the general mood of my life you know. Besides if I keep it incredibly simple I won't even have to waste paper and wall space (or binder space) with my goals.

So in keeping with simplicity I've narrowed my long lists of goals down to one. Drum role please………………. My goal for 2011 is submission. I actually had it as a goal last year too. It worked out pretty good. It worked out good because I learned and grew at an incredible rate this past year. When I say it worked out pretty good I don't mean I was perfect with it because I was not! It did work out well though because there were numerous situations when I languished over what to do when I was reminded of my goal. That made the decisions easier-"Oh yeah, submit and obey. I am going to do that!" Great blessings always followed.

There are a lot of scriptures that speak of this,

"Wherefore, by the ministering of angels, and by every word which proceed forth out of the mouth of God, men began to exercise faith in Christ; and thus by faith, they did lay hold upon every good thing; thus it was until the coming of Christ." Moroni 7:25

"Therefore, O ye that embark in the service of God, see that ye serve him with all your heart, might, mind and strength, that ye may stand blameless before God at the last day." D & C 4:2

"For you shall live by every word that proceedeth forth from the mouth of God." D & C 84: 44

"Therefore, cease from all your light speeches, from all laughter, from all your lustful desires, from all your pride and light-mindedness and from all your wicked doings." D & C 88:121

Talking about one's submission also opens the doorway to discussion about the Lords absolutes in the scriptures. We are to live by every word, not just most words. We are also to serve with all our heart, not just some of it. That is hard though isn't it?! That is why we have our mortal probation; our time to prove ourselves faithful. As we strive for personal submission every moment than we will refine ourselves more and more. Eventually we will have that transformed character that Elder Scott recently spoke on. He said, "We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day." He also said, "You become what you do and what you think about." So if we put submission in the forefront of our life and that is what we think about and we try to 'be' eventually the miraculous will occur and we will become that-a truly submissive child of God.

So that is my New Year's Resolution; I want to submit each day to my God. This with take effort, it will take repentance, but day by day and moment by moment I have faith that I will finally become.

Reflections of 2010

As I reflect on this past year I am grateful for the experiences that I have had. This year was intense for me in the way of life lesson's that were learned and which were piled one on top of another. Our family came through it better and stronger though. Whew!

I thought I would dedicate this blog post to reviewing the great lessons I did learn. Most are not new to anyone, but it's always helpful to look back and see just how far you have come or to realize just how strong your back has become through it all. I am so blessed to have continuous opportunities for growth and progression. Mortal life truly is an amazing experience!

Lesson one: Don't be so stuffy! I learned that I had too much stuff! I repented of that and gave 2/3 of our things away. After I did I felt a great relief. I felt has if I had lost a hundred pounds. You don't realize how weighed down you are until it is gone. I learned that I don't need seven spatulas in my kitchen drawer, that I only need three or four board games (because that's how many we play with anyway), I only need three or four pairs of pants, I only need one pair of sheets per bed, I only need one book case of books instead of five (I can get almost anything from the library) and I don't need any plastic plants. I've always been good about organizing my things so they were always neat and tidy, but it wasn't until it was gone that I felt the joy of simplicity.

There was a greater increase of the Spirit in our home because I was not holding onto more than what my needs and wants really were. I also gained more time. I spent less time dusting, less time organizing and less time feeling weighed down by stuff. I feel terrible that I spent so much money on stuff. Stuff, stuff, stuff. I learned that Satan wants us to have our lives filled with stuff because they distract us from doing the really important things. When you have stuff you want to use it so now you are spending more time with stuff and your time becomes stuffy and your life becomes stuffy and you miss out on the eternal.

I am so blessed to have learned this lesson. There were a couple of times that I was a little sad getting rid of things, but there is not anything I got rid of that I now regret. This lesson takes a brave heart, but it was so worth it.

Lesson two: They shall nash their teeth, but it will not hurt. Spending nine months on the campaign trail as it ups and downs. The downs are the slander, the false accusations, the emotional attacks and the smears. One morning we woke up to the knowledge that our entire district was robo called (computer generated phone calls) and my husband was called a liar and a corrupt politician by one of the head legislators in the Democratic Party for the state. Yes, that was a rough morning. We applied what we have always done when the going gets tough, we fell to our knees and asked the Lord to grant us with peace, love and with the strength to forgive our enemies. It was still hard on days like that, but I knew that God would take care of us. Brigham Young says, "Pray as if everything depends on God and work as if everything depends on you." So after we prayed we went to work. My husband did his campaign business and I did my business-being a wife and mother, and it all was okay. For in those times the Lord grants you eternal perspective and clarity of thought that enables you trust His plan for you. All will be okay-and it was.

Lesson three: You can move into a very tiny house and find great joy. The Lord prepared me for our move into a tiny house by letting me learn lesson one in the spring. I don't think I could have handled lesson three in the fall had I not passed lesson one. I really like living in a small house. I can't say that I love it every minute, but most of the time I just really enjoy it and I am grateful. The reasons for the joy are the blessings that have come. We have more time because cleaning up is a snap. Our life is simple which allows for us to recognize and do the things that are the most important-serving, visiting others, and being together. During the evening when we have free time we are all in the living room and we are forced to talk, play games and read. There's not a lot to do so we must all interact with each other.

There are times when a couple of the cramped spots cause me to take a deep breath and choose patience. The dining area is very small and we feel pinned to the table. Also my kitchen work area is very small. These moments allow me the opportunity to choose to be happy regardless of the lack of perceived comforts. I very much appreciate the opportunity to refine my character and choose to be better.

Lesson four: We can remove media from our home and we can still be okay! We've been on just movies in our house for twelve or so years. This fall however we removed the TV from the house. We still have access a TV/DVD but it's inconvenient to get to it. In the past we would occasionally turn on a movie (once a week) when we were tired and felt "entitled" to mind numbing entertainment. Now it's just hard enough to get to that we usually just go to bed early, play a family game or we read instead.

When we moved we also turned off the internet. I think this was harder than anything. This has allowed me to see how much time I wasted on the internet everyday-I only was on goodreads and blogger too! Again more time on our hands. (I'm telling you when you remove media, things to dust, things to clean, things to organize, and you say you won't go to Walmart and buy things you've just added HOURS to your day!)

I've prayed about adding the internet and the answer has been swift and forceful-NO! I'm not sure why our family is not to have internet right now. I think this answer may be unique to our family though. I have three boys at impressionable ages and so this could be one reason.

Another reason besides the time wasting is that I've realized how lazy "insta-knowledge" has made our family. It's so much easier to look up the quick answer to something than actually having to use a dictionary, read a book and discover the answer, or ask someone. The internet made me lazy. I realized that I was obtaining too much of my knowledge the "fast food" way. Drive up to the window and go. I have discovered more personal growth from having to discover the answers through real work and study. The Founding Fathers didn't have this insta-knowledge and yet they were leagues ahead of me in personal knowledge.
I don't know what we will do when our children our older and they need more scholar type classes. There are a lot of wonderful classes on line. Perhaps they just won't be for our family?

(How am I on blogger if I don't have the internet? My husband has internet access through his phone that is available on our laptops. So I write a blog post on Microsoft sometime during the week and publish it to my blog when I have access to his phone. It takes mere minutes. When my husband is home I don't use his phone but once or twice a week very quickly to upload a post and add my books quickly to goodreads. I don't like to be on the computer when he is home! So I really only use the internet to upload quickly. I can also open up a couple of blogs and then later when he is gone and the kids are playing I can read some blogs off line. I can't comment this way though. I hope that makes sense).

Lesson five: Free time equals service time. So with all this freed up time we have added service to our lives. Of course I served before, but this is different now. We don't have pressing things anymore so we can make things for the needy, we can visit the lonely and the discouraged, and we can be "seen" in our community more that we may be a light unto the world and an example of the believers.

As we began to see the time we had freed up it was shocking to see how Satan had lulled us into such carnal security by having us be happily distracted and entertained by our stuff. No we didn't watch bad things, yes my house was always clean, …. But I was missing the point. I was not sent here to be entertained. I was sent here to raise children and help usher in the Second Coming. I couldn't do that if I was spending hours of my life in distraction. Now we can more readily stand for truth and righteousness and strive to be Savior's on Mount Zion.

I feel so blessed with the experiences that I had that opened my eyes to what I have been missing in my life. I gained a deeper level of eternal perspective this year. I learned that letting go of things allowed me to step into the darkness through faith that eventually led to a whole new way to live our lives.

I look forward to lessons of 2011. I think they will continue to be challenging but I have faith that as I submit and do the hard things that the rich blessings will come and we will be prepared as a family to offer up unto the Lord an "offering in righteousness that will be worthy of all acceptation"-a life devoted to the Savior.

Developing Our Talents

We recently had a lesson in Young Women’s about developing our talents. I have been thinking all week about what my talents are. I know I don’t want to bury my talents, I know I want to use them. What are they though?

Sometimes in our sacred role as “nurturer” it may seem that anything we are good at has to take a back burner. While that may be true I believe that it is embracing our role of nurturer that we truly begin to recognize what our talents are and the things that we are passionate about. Too often I have thought that I need to separate myself into being “Deanna, the organizer,” from “Deanna, the nurturer.”

I have learned that when I submit to my role as nurturer (wife, mother, sister, friend, daughter) I have found along the way that I do have multiple talents and abilities. Not only have I come to recognize talents but I have come to find out that I am able to magnify them more fully while I am submitting. The moment I say, “eureka, I have a talent” and try to separate it out for selfish gain or glorification I fall on my face. However, when I use a newly discovered talent to further my role as a mother or wife I see that I am progressing and increasing.

That’s where I have to stop and sigh. It just always seem to fall back to submission. In order for me to progress I simply (yes simply) have to submit to God’s plan for me. (Which God’s plan for me is to be a wife and mother). The world wants me to think I need to be more than this or that I deserve to be and do other things too.

 Elder Maxwell, gave this marvelous quote,

“The submission of one’s will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God’s altar. It is a hard doctrine, but it is true. The many other things we give to God, however nice that may be of us, are actually things He has already given us, and He has loaned them to us. But when we begin to submit ourselves by letting our will be swallowed up in God’s will, then we are really giving something to Him” (Insights from My Life, Ensign, Aug. 2000, 9)

What I learn from this is that it’s “nice” for me to do the things I want and create the things I want, but my true submission comes when I let God’s will truly become my will. I have already learned from the Proclamation that my role is to nurture along with multiple other things like: replenish the earth, chastity, love and care for my children, teach my children to love and serve one another, have our foundation be Jesus Christ, respect each family member, and pursue wholesome recreational activities….

David McConkie said in this last conference, “Brothers and sisters, it is contrary to the economy of heaven for the Lord to repeat to each of us individually what He has already revealed to us collectively. The scriptures contain the words of Christ. They are the voice of the Lord. Studying the scriptures trains us to hear the Lord’s voice.”
I take this to mean the Lord has already established my mission and what I need to submit too. I can learn more about my mission and hence my talents as I submit to His plan by reading His word.  As I do so the still small voice of the Spirit will distill upon me as the dews of heaven and I will see clearly His will for me and the talents He has given me.

I have gone in this essay from a + b + c…. How do I get this back to a? Talent acquisition comes in submission, by submission we learn we need to read the scriptures, in the scriptures we learn our mission, while learning our mission we recognize the talents we have inherently already been given and how we can magnify them so we are not burying our talents. Make sense? I think it’s interesting that submission includes the word mission. We discover mission (and talents) as we submit.

That’s of course not saying we are all the same. Each of us have unique families and personalities. As I’ve submitted to my role of mother for example I have learned that I have a talent for organizing, multi-tasking, doing hard things, teaching, testifying, being on time, efficiency, and personal discipline for example. I think many of us have learned these things. That’s what moms do. In the past I looked beyond the mark and thought that my talent acquisition required great and grand things that had to be done outside my home.

I believe that God's plan is truly marvelous.  As we submit we become much more than we would be on our own.  The ability to do hard things and easily testify to others are not unimportant things.  They are vital talents that I must continue to develop in order to successfully navigate myself through this life.

I am grateful for the knowledge of scriptures and prophets which teach and inspire me in the way of these principles.  I am grateful for the gift of the Holy Ghost that allows further clarification and personal revelation in my own life. 

I have seen that personal submission to God is the way to true happiness.  Happiness in my life has not been found as I've submitted to the world's plan for me.  Sometimes it his hard to find value in what we are doing or that our mundane tasks are the seeds to our great talents. 

In the book "Addiction Recovery Program: A Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing" written by LDS Family Services available through the Church Distribution Center it says,

"As Elder Maxwell observed, this submission to the Lord is hard doctrine.  It requires us to rededicate ourselves to His will at the start of each day and sometimes every hour or even from moment to moment.  As we are willing to do so, we find the grace, or enabling power, to do what we could not do for ourselves." (pg. 14)

I seek to purge out the world's version of developing my talents.  I choose to stay focused on Christ and allow Him to define my talents and mission.