“to lead the world and…especially the women of the world in everything that is praiseworthy, everything that is God-like, everything that is uplifting and this is purifying to the children of men.”
If we, as women of Christ, feel a lack of value we won’t be able to fulfill our purposes in the last days, we will be distracted by feeling unneeded and inadequate. (Which is Satan’s plan). That is why I wanted to write this. To tell you how I finally came to believe I had worth.
I used to be a person that didn’t think I was ever good
enough for anything. A great very many
of us I think felt or feel like this. I do
think some people come to Earth with an innate sense of their worth however. I believe this is a gift of the Spirit. One reason I believe this is because my
husband and a couple of my children intrinsically know they have value. While
some of my other children cry and pout at any side ways glance because “they
know” someone is mad at them or whatever the grievance may be. Some of us aren’t born with a sense of worth
burning as brightly as others. I have come to realize that it is a gift of the
spirit we can claim. It is a gift we must seek if we want to
fulfill our purposes here in the last days.
One day while pondering in the early morning hours a couple
of years ago it came to me that I am here on Earth and there are two
channels. One channel (which is quieter)
is from my Creator and He sends messages of light, truth and love. The other channel (this one screams) is from
my would-be Destroyer and the messages are darkness, lies and hate. I came to realize that everyday my self-worth
channel was set on the lying channel.
These are some of the messages on the two channels:
Creator:
You are a child of God.
Your life has meaning and purpose.You have a divine nature.
I want you to come home to me.
The worth of souls is great.
I need you.
Destroyer:
You are worthless.
You can’t do anything right.
You’ll never be good enough, so don’t try.
You’re a fool.
You’re family and friends think you are ridiculous.
You are not needed for anything.
The lying messages are easier to receive because no effort is required. It is a “path of least resistance” message. It is easier to listen to these messages the same way it is easier to eat candy and junk food. We feel sick afterwards but we keep eating because some how we think it is feeding us and it is an easier message to partake of.
When realization dawned, I realized I wanted and needed to
change the frequency. Of course I want
life and not death. But how do you
change 30+ years of entrenched messages of lies? I realized it was like loosing 50 pounds of
fat (or maybe a lot more!). I realized I
had to change, but it was still overwhelming.
It is so much easier to keep indulging.
(Or so I thought of course). So
what was the answer?
Repentance. It was
not the answer I wanted to hear. But it
is always the answer. I believed
Satan. I had put my trust in Satan. I had let him be my god for sending me self
worth messages. I had been deluding
myself into thinking I wasn’t sinning, but as a daughter who had made baptismal
and temple covenants I did know what the truth was. I just wasn’t believing it before. I realized that not trusting in God was
breaking the commandments. The first
commandment is to love God. The God. Of course it didn’t make me evil or
awful. It simply meant I couldn’t
progress like I wanted to until I changed.
It meant I wasn’t able to receive the light I wanted until I realigned
myself to God. Elder Cook said in the
last conference, “When our commitment is diminished for any reason, part of the
solution is repentance.”
So I prayed. I was
sorry. I wanted to listen to light and
truth. I realized that I needed to
exercise faith. After all the years of
gospel teaching the plain and simple truth was applying the first principles of
the Gospel. Faith. Since I didn’t have a testimony of my own
self worth I had to start with a particle of faith. I had to trust God when he taught that I
really was a child of God and He needed me.
I had to believe the message
He was sending. I had to believe they were the truth. I had to exercise my faith and believe Him.
Then came the work.
Because that is what faith is: ACTION.
It becomes a time to act and not be acted upon. It becomes time to give up on the path of
least resistance. It was time to take the higher road, do an about face, and turn
to God.
I had to reject the messages. Simply quoting President Uchtdorf. “STOP IT !” Stop listening to the lies and the darkness. Stop believing that Satan is telling the truth. To do this each time a lie came in to my mind I had to reject the lie and quote the truth.
“You are stupid…….stop……wrong message…….I am a child of God
and He loves me.”
“You will never be good enough for exaltation…stop…..wrong
message……I have a divine destiny….my life as meaning and purpose…..”
Again. Reject the lie.
Quote the truth. And believe it. It is hard at first. I was amazed how often the lies stream in
through out the day and I didn’t even realize it. It is easier to wallow in a lie from Satan
about ourselves than it is to listen to a message of truth.
After you reject the lie and quote the truth you need to
redirect yourself. It’s time to stop
thinking about ourselves. The treatment is the same as those struggling with
angry thoughts or pornographic images.
We could “hum our favorite tune,” praise God, count our many blessings,
and/or we can go serve some one. We get
our minds off of the train of thought we were going down. We get our minds off of ourselves.
The miracle is that as you reject the lie, change to the
truth channel and think about others your seed of faith grows until you
KNOW. You know and now you have a
testimony. You know you are a child of
God. You know you do have individual
worth. You finally really believe your
life has purpose. People do like you.
And you know God loves you.
And then you live.
You discover greater depth to your relationships. You feel a greater capacity to love other
people. You feel joy. You grow.
You receive personal revelation. In a nutshell you soar with God.
Thoughts from Spring
2012 General Conference on this subject:
Elder Hales, “…a life
of joy and happiness, is an essential part of Heavenly father’s plan for each
one of us…As our spiritual desires increase, we become spiritually
self-reliant….the sacrament gives us an opportunity to come to ourselves and
experience ‘a mighty change’ of heart-to remember who we are and what we most
desire.”
Elder Soares, “To sow
in the Spirit means that all our thoughts, words, and actions must elevate us
to the level of the divinity of our heavenly parents….the natural man, which
allows people to be influenced by passion, desires, appetites, and drives of
the flesh instead of looking for inspiration from the Holy Ghost…Therefore, our
daily question must be, ‘Do my actions place me in the Lord’s or in the enemy’s
territory?” JUST READ THIS WHOLE TALK.
Elder Scott, “One must
be ever mentally and physically clean and have purity of intent so that the
Lord can inspire….The more closely you follow divine guidance, the greater will
be your happiness here and for eternity-moreover, the more abundant your
progress and capacity to serve.”
Brother Ochoa quoting
Elder Holland ,
“I am looking for men young and old who care enough about this battle between
good and evil to sign on and speak up.
We are at war.”
President Uctdorf,
“This ‘mighty change’ of heart is exactly what the gospel of Jesus Christ is
designed to bring into our lives.”
Elder Nelson,
“Spiritual progress is attained through the steps of faith, repentance,
baptism, the gift of the Holy Ghost and enduring to the end, including the
endowment and sealing ordinances of the holy temple. Just as the body requires daily food for
survival, the spirit needs nourishment as well.
The spirit is nurtured by eternal truth.”
Read Sister Beck’s
talk.
2 comments:
I really needed this. Thank you.
Hugs,
Rachel
And then you live. You discover greater depth to your relationships. You feel a greater capacity to love other people. You feel joy. You grow. You receive personal revelation. In a nutshell you soar with God.
I have been on this same journey this past summer. Learning to be more in tune with my Heavenly Father and Savior. What you stated in the above paragraph is exactly what I am experiencing. In my journal I wrote:
Happiness comes from living the gospel of Jesus Christ and developing a relationship with him. My happiness level depends upon the amount of effort I am putting into that relationship. 2 Nephi 5:27 says, “And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness.” To me that implies that happiness is a way of living and not a destination to be sought after or happened upon. I have found that when I am striving to use my imperfections as stepping stones toward becoming more like Christ and not as road-blocks to my eternal destiny, happiness finds me, I don’t have to seek it anymore.
What an amazing thing. True joy is a by product of being connected with our divine nature and following the commandments of the Savior. It isn't something we have to seek. I just happens.
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